Porcelain and Warm Honey
by OrdinaryFreak00
Summary: Kurt Hummel is tired. Tired of hospitals, tired of his friendless life, tired of osteosarcoma. Really he just wants to give up sometimes. That's when he meets the ever charming, though mysterious Blaine Anderson, and suddenly, life doesn't seem as hopeless anymore. Does that make everything better though? Or will it just make everything even harder for both of them?
1. Chapter 1

**Porcelain and Warm Honey**

**A/N **

**Hello! So this is my first story, and to be frank I'm kinda terrified, so please be gentle with me :D  
>Okay, so I don't wanna ramble, BUT I want to clear a few things:<br>I have absolutely no experience with medical things besides Greys Anatomy, so if you know anything about osteosarcoma, spare me the embarrassment... Don't read.  
>You might think I've been inspired by TFIOS (the fault in out stars) but actually I hadn't even read the book when I got the idea, so believe it or not, coincidence.<br>****Sadly I have no betas, so please bear over with me if you find some mistakes. English is not my first language, but I happen to believe I'm not hopeless - not promising anything, though ;)****  
><strong>

**Thank you very much and enjoy! :D**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Glee. **

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><p><span>Chapter 1<span>

If you had told Kurt Hummel that he had bone cancer three months ago, he would probably laugh you in the face and tell you off with some sneaky comment, that you probably wouldn't understand much of, but here he was. In the little, dull hospital room, with yellow walls that made you both depressed and gave you a sense of claustrophobia. He didn't know what to say, really. And what was there to say for him anyway. He still couldn't believe any of it.

He did remember that day so clearly. Every little detail, every feeling and every little superficial worry in his life up until its turning point. He had went through that day a million times in his mind now, but it still didn't make any sense to him.

.

The alarm clock rang, whining and insisting, way too early for Kurt's liking. He sighed as he pulled the suddenly extremely warm and comfortable blanket off of him, still not entirely awake.

Oh, how he hated that alarm clock already, no matter how perfect it fitted into his room.

He stumbled his way into the bathroom next to his room, and looked into the mirror. The bright, blue eyes, half shut and swollen as always in the morning, stared tiredly back at him.

His hair was of course one big mess, chestnut colored and sticking out in every possible direction on his head.

When he tried flattening it out, and it just looked more like a birds nest, he decided he could as well take a quick shower before going to school. He silently cursed the universe for making it an unwritten law, that unless you maybe looked like Johnny Depp in the early twenties, you always had to look like something from 'The walking dead' in the morning.

He turned on the water and frowned as always, when he looked at his slender body in the mirror, wondering why he was so damn pale. His mother had been so beautiful with her cream-colored skin and bright blue eyes, not white like Kurt. And his father... Well, he wasn't that pale, so he hadn't got it from any of them. He sighed at his small and superficial, but annoying dislike about his body, and ignored the white slender boy in the mirror for now.

After a quick shower he managed to style his hair perfectly, smiling at the result, and putting on his amazing outfit, of course a new one today.

He quickly took a banana in his hand, and drove to school, excited to show Mercedes his new outfit.

The day was as always utterly ordinary and boring, with David Karofsky shoving him into lockers and calling him "fag" and "Fairy boy" every time he got the chance – after a year of that he had got used to it, though it still hurt.

All classes were way too easy for Kurt's taste, except of course math. He absolutely hated math, maybe because he sucked so much. But in the end of the day, there was one thing he looked forward to. Glee! Finally he could just have fun with his friends, hate Rachel and not be so scared of what everyone thought of him.

It was his junior year, and after the epic fail at regionals last year they had to win this year, their big goal, nationals. They had just won sectionals and now their next goal was regionals, and even though it was months away, Mr. Schue thought it was best to start preparing already for a change. So he had hours of learning choreography and dance moves to look forward to that day.

But he could only handle a little of the tough dancing that Mr. Schue put them through in glee class, when he suddenly twisted his food so bad that he could hear the cracking, sickening sound of something break and right after came the pain.

It really just felt like someone was cutting of his food, not like the pain he felt when he was ten and had sprained his ankle, when he fell of his bike. He collapsed on the floor, gasping and wondered what the hell could hurt so much.

First none of the others really took him serious, because the cracking sound hadn't reached them through the loud music. Through the strong and incredibly unexpected and confusing haze of pain, he was sure he heard Santana say something like "looks like that short time on the cheerios didn't do much for Lady Hummel's coordination after all, huh?" And Rachel's high pitched voice – how could it still be so annoying after almost a year and a half with her? – Saying "This is what happens when you don't work as hard as I do!" And even when he heard that, he didn't open his eyes and send her a killer look – which she would pretend to not see – like he usually did when she said something really annoying and self centered – which was petty much every day.

It was first when they all found out that he desperately was clutching his food they realized he wasn't just making a scene, but in actual pain. And that was when the worry spread.

Mercedes' voice could be heard through the mumbled worries and confusions, "Kurt! Did you hit your food or something? What happened, white boy?" she tried sounding sassy and wanting after an explanation, but you could still hear the toned-down worry in her voice. He could hear Santana through the crowd too, "Did Frankenteen hit you with his hopeless dance moves like he did with Berry or something?" and afterwards Finn's voice guilty voice saying, "I didn't do anything this time, I swear! I wasn't even next to him!"

Mr. Schue pushed the mumbling crowd aside, so he could see what was going on, "Kurt, are you okay? What happened to your food?"

When he didn't dare opening his mouth to answer any of their questions, because he was afraid he couldn't hold back a shriek of pain if he did, but just moaned and hissed, they really got worried.

He could hear Mr. Schue tell someone something, but couldn't quite put it together through the weirdly strong pain, when the tears that had filled his eyes threatened to fall.

"Kurt, it's okay, I'll drive you to the hospital, they'll figure out what's wrong, okay? Mercedes is talking to your dad. He's on his way already," he heard Mr. Schue say, trying to sooth him. But Kurt didn't approve to that idea. He shook his head and whimpered at the thought of the hospital and his father's worried-to-death look on his face, when he found out Kurt was in the hospital. His father had always been a worry ward, especially when Kurt was involved. And for god sake, he had twisted his damn food. How the hell could a sprained or, in worst-case scenario, broken food hurt so much?

But Mr. Schue didn't react to Kurt's whimpering or shaken head, probably convinced the pain caused it.

An hour after his sudden collapse in glee, Kurt, his father and Mercedes – who had persuaded her parents to let her stay till after dinner – still sat in the waiting room, incredibly impatient, his food still aching like hell, but in less shock now. It just didn't make any sense that a damn food could hurt like that! What had he ever done to make karma fall down on him that hard?

He had sucked in the pain, though, and held the moans and hisses back – no matter how hard it was, when the pain sometimes came all of sudden, and feeling like a unusual sharp knife was stuck inside his food and tried to get out – when the doctor came and asked Kurt, his father and Mercedes to follow him. Kurt tried to stand from the uncomfortable chair in the waiting room, but winced when he tried moving his food the slightest. When Burt noticed he came over and slipped an arm around his thin waist, so that Kurt could humble his way. Kurt suddenly became very aware of the pain in his food, only growing with every step they took, and couldn't hold back the moan that slipped out of his mouth and his eyes feeling a little wet again. He cursed under his breath, not wanting his father to worry even more. God, why did it have to hurt so much? He had never felt anything like this, he swore!

But they had managed after all, Burt supporting Kurt, trying not to worry too much. After all it couldn't be that bad. He had just twisted his food. Maybe he had broken tendon or nerve or something. That hurt like hell too, right?

But later they found out it was much, much worse...

.

He cringed when he thought about that look on the doctors' face. That look, full of pity for the young boy in front of him, about to tell him something that would turn everything in his life upside down. He still remembered the feeling of something heavy fall and fall in his stomach, until it crashed with a loud echoing smash and took his breath away. He still remembered the feeling of disbelief and horror, while all the blood vanished from his face.

The image of his fathers face was the worst thing that was burned into his skull forever, though. The indescribable look of... pain. His fathers face couldn't be described any better, 'cause not dread or horror neither disbelief nor anguish could cut it. Those words just weren't enough.

Mercedes' reaction was unbearable too. Her hand had flown to her mouth as silent tears of disbelief had started to well up in her eyes. The quiet sobs came quickly after.

It just seemed so unreal. How could he, Kurt Hummel, the healthiest boy on his school, end up with bone cancer.

He hadn't had the time to think about it too much though. Even though the doctors said he was lucky that they had found it early, he had still needed radiation and later on chemo, after the operation failed. He had been scared to death. He still was, of course, but the first month... It had probably been the worst in his life, maybe except from losing his mother, even though he wasn't quite sure.

He remembered crying himself to sleep and getting nightmares every night.

He remembered his dad crying silently in his room one day, on his knees, almost looking like he was praying. That had broken Kurt's heart even more than the terrible nightmares. That hopelessness and guilt and suddenly became so overwhelming, that he couldn't breath. He couldn't do anything but cry.

Actually he didn't do much but cry those first few weeks, even months. The visits on the hospital all the time, the looks of pity everywhere he went, when he had begun to loose his hair. Loosing his hair... That day was so clear in his memory too. That day when everything became so real… That day when he finally realized that he had cancer.

He remembered looking down at the brush, he used to slowly and carefully brush his smooth, chestnut hair with. He remembered seeing the fine strays of hair – way too many – remaining on the brush, and he remembered just sitting on the bed a second, a minute, an hour, he didn't know, really, with no expression on his face, the truth slowly sinking in.

And then, without a warning, the feelings just came so sudden and extremely strong, pushing him down on his knees and making him cry like never before. He had never appreciated and loved his hair so much like that day, ever before.

And then the day had come, when everything just seemed to get harder, both physically and mentally. He wanted to be home as much as possible, but in the end it got to hard – and too dangerous after his doctors opinion, apparently – so he had to stay at the hospital for much, much longer than Kurt had ever feared. He understood though, and without a word or complaint to his dad, he had begun packing his favorite books and magazines, thanking the universe that he was allowed to take some few belongings with him, but his gratitude faltered a bit when the thought, that maybe the doctors just couldn't deny the little, poor 17-years old boy with Osteosarcoma, his only source to happiness in his life, which the odds were so against at that point.

At that point he had just sat down and cried, letting in their pity and feeling sorry for himself, and he knew that he couldn't have done much but that, so he didn't really regret or hate himself for how weak he had been. What kind of 17-year old boy wouldn't cry at the thought that his life may just have been taking from him, before it even began?

He did however regret not living his life while it was still possible for him. He hated the thought that maybe he would never have the chance to become the Broadway star, he always had dreamed of becoming. That would never get the chance to get drunk for the first time, to experience his first kiss. And now he would never ever feel what falling in love felt like. He would never have the chance to love somebody besides his father and friends, of course.

But his friends seemed so... distant all of sudden, after the first months, simply because they never knew what to say to him. They would always look at him like they would start to cry every other second. Their looks full of pity and sadness, was always so scared to make him upset or remember his situation. Always freaked out by the thought of saying the wrong thing. It all got so frustrating.

He began wondering if they would ever just understand, that he really just wanted someone to talk to. He just wanted someone to look at him like he wasn't some kind of bomb that could blow you into pieces at every second, but an actual boy. He wanted to be able to laugh and talk about fashion and Broadway shows, and complain about his math homework or way too pale skin, like he used to. He wanted to be able to look into his friends' eyes without seeing that look of pity and dread. He missed the everyday problems that suddenly seemed so superficial. He wanted to just forget about his situation for just a second. He just wanted to be a normal boy, or at least remember what it was like to be one.

But of course he knew he couldn't blame them. And that was one of the most frustrating things, as well. To know that he would act like that too – before his disease, of course – if one of his best friends got hospitalized. They acted like every other normal teenager would, if they'd just been told that one of their best friends would die. And honestly, wasn't it for their own best? Kurt didn't want them to suffer if he died.

And that was why, he after some time just pretended to sleep, every time they came to visit, because he couldn't stand to see their pity. Couldn't stand to see their sadness and hopelessness, 'cause it was too contagious to look at. Every time he saw their smiles that never reached their eyes, his situation suddenly seemed far more real and hopeless. And if he truly loved them he wouldn't let them suffer.

So after some time, his friends came really rarely. Two months after never.

And with that came the loneliness, boredom and sadness. He would read the same book for the fifth time and go through his magazines all over again, or draw a new outfit in his sketchbook – even that got monotonous after some time – but he always missed someone to share it with. His father would keep him with company and not look too much at him because he knew how he felt, but it never got the same as a friend, and he knew that.

Carole would come over too, taking advantaged of being a nurse at the hospital, and sometimes they would talk a bit, but they never really got too close. He became good friends with her actually, but she still had that... worried, concerned look in her eyes, mostly because she was a mother of course, but it was also directed to Kurt.

Finn, of course didn't know what to say at all. He was more of a stupid, mumbling mess than ever, and sometimes Kurt found it funny, but most of the time he just saw it as another way to deal with his brothers disease, and that made Kurt sad all over again. They all looked at him like he was already dead.

Kurt knew that the loneliness and depression wasn't good for his condition at all, but there never seemed to be anything to do about it. He knew that it really just was a matter of time before it got worse and he would die, way too early, but most importantly alone. And after the three months that had passed he actually kind of got used to it. He was done feeling sorry for himself anyway, and tried endlessly to just accept his situation. Maybe that would make his mood – and hopefully his odds – a bit better. He wanted it to, especially because of his father.

"I'm fine, dad, you can go to work. Make some money!" Kurt said soothingly, and tried to smile a genuine smile at his father, who looked uncertain, while trying to forget the fact that it was Kurt's bills his father had to pay. As if he hadn't caused his father enough to be concerned about.

"Are you sure, bud?" Burt Hummel said and frowning, expression serious, "I can stay if you want to, ya know."

"Dad, I'm not some kid, okay."

He was tired of people babying him, "I think I'm gonna nap anyway. All of this medicine makes me tired."

"All right, if you're sure..." Burt still looked uncertain as he stood from the chair beside Kurt's bed, and kissed his forehead. "Call me if you need anything, 'kay," he added as he walked out.

"I will dad."

And with that he walked out, leaving Kurt alone in the little hospital room.

He was almost used to the little, almost square, room now. The ugly yellow walls – he had always despised that color – and the gray ceiling he had spent so many hours staring up on.

He looked at the monitors everywhere around him, the little nightstand with his old, worn, recently read book, Romeo and Juliet, which Kurt had read so many times, he almost had lost count. Beside it was his little alarm clock, which he now just used to check the time on – he never needed to wake up early to go to school anymore.

He had a few pictures too. Most of them were from when he was little with either his mom or dad. He was never older than six on the pictures with his mother though, since she had passed away around his sixth birthday.

He still got a little sad when he looked at the happy picture of him and his mother standing in the kitchen and baking his favorite muffins.

He himself looked extremely concentrated, with his little tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth, while he carefully put the dough into the little forms, careful to only fill them up to the middle, as his mother had told him to.

Elizabeth smiled proudly at him, her arms around him in a comforting embrace, and he remembered how she had complimented him and his skills at baking. It was only a few months before she got sick.

He refused to let the tears spill over, as he looked at the other picture of his dad, him and his new bike. Little Kurt was about four years old at that picture. He had the brightest, most excited smile on his face as he clung to the new bike his father had gotten him, while Burt kept him up, smiling broadly at his little son, hand on his shoulder, more proud than Kurt had ever seen him. He remembered that day clearly. To celebrate the summer, they had all went to the park, and when they got home, a brand new bike was waiting for little Kurt.

He could nothing but smile every time he looked at that one.

The next one was of him on his eighth birthday. He sat at the table, his eyes the brightest colored blue Kurt had ever seen, smiling madly. A pink crown rested on his head and he had a scepter in his hand. He remembered how his father had been a bit skeptical about that, but he knew Kurt was so happy, and that was all he cared about. Especially since it was only a few years after Elizabeth's dead.

He loved that photo, too. It was the time when his father had really started to connect. To accept that maybe he couldn't get that buddy in the garage he had dreamed of, when Kurt was a baby, but that Kurt was enough. No matter if Kurt liked the to sing better than fixing cars, cause he would always be his son.

Next to that stood the framed picture of the glee club, all smiling widely at him.

He remembered that day. Remembered how they had all been worried to death that all the popular kids would deface their picture until it was unrecognizable. They did of course, but Kurt was just happy he got this one saved and framed.

They all looked so happy, with Artie in the middle in his wheelchair, holding a sign that said "Glee club 2009".

He looked at himself, and smiled sadly. He remembered how anxious he had been about getting this photo just right, but now it didn't seem to matter at all. He simply just stared at the happy boy, with hair on his head, and in an amazing outfit, so different from the boy in his hospital bed. He looked so young. With the chubby cheeks and bright eyes. His condition had taken that from him.

His gaze moved on to the little window beside his bed. He was on fourth floor, on the north side of the hospital, so he had a nice view over the park. He had spent so many hours just looking down, and seeing people walk around. Admired – and envied – their simple, easy lives.

Some were running, others walking their dog or maybe in the park with their families.

There were some young couples to be seen all the time too, walking around hand in hand, or sitting under trees snuggling, and that was the ones Kurt envied the most. The young, in love, naive people, that were everywhere. He knew he would never have that. The freedom to just walk around hand in hand with the person he loved. Kiss under a tree... Even if he were all healthy, he would never have that freedom...

A sudden yawn escaped Kurt's mouth, and almost surprised him. That medicine really did make him tired. Oh, well, a nap before the doctor came to check on him again couldn't hurt, was his last thought, as he drifted into sleep.

…

"No, Wes, I'm sorry, but I have to go to dad at the hospital," Blaine said reluctantly and stood from the chair he was sitting in, looking around in the big library to find his bag, "We are going to that football game..."

"Aw, come on, Blainers, you know you'd rather be with us than your dad! You don't even like football that much!" Wes whined, "Stay! We could hang out, hey, It's Friday, why don't we..."

"Don't even start Asian, there's no way I'm letting you drag me out to get drunk. I don't like partying, and you know that!"

"Correction," Wes said impatiently, "you don't like being caught by your dad, and you have an annoying aversion to fun. Come on, you could find a cute boooy," but when Blaine didn't respond to that either, but just started packing his things, he added, "Come on, Blainers, you gotta start live a little. I know that whole thing with your mother is upsetting, but she died years ago. Its okay to let go."

Blaine sighed as Wes transformed to being the annoying friend, to the annoying psychologist. He really didn't know what was most irritating.

"I have let go," he snapped, as he always did, when his friends brought up his mom, and rushed out of the library, with his bag in hand, "And stop calling me that!" he called over his shoulder.

He walked through the almost empty Dalton hallways, heading for his car in the parking lot. It was just a typical Friday, him studying with his reluctant and whining best friend, Wes, who always tried to get him to go 'live a little'.

He was actually surprised that Wes hadn't just dumped him completely. He really was no fun. Well, they had known each other their whole life, sure, but still. After his mother's accident, Blaine wasn't that willing to do anything. He would just sit and study, practicing for The Warbles or go to some kind of father-and-son time, that really never felt that genuine.

His father tried, of course. After Amanda's dead, his father became quite a mess. He had worked overtime at the hospital at first, sending Blaine to Dalton so he didn't have to be around him that much.

Blaine knew it was because of his eyes. He had his mother's eyes. A complete replica, actually, and it hurt too much to look at them in the start. Later on, when they had both learned how to deal with the fact, that they never got to see Amanda again, he had tried to bond with Blaine. He knew that was his way of apologizing. He had never known how to deal with Blaine, his only son, being gay, and what he was doing know, was finding a way to accept his son completely, like his wife had been so good at. She had just hugged him and told him that she always knew, but his father had just patted his shoulder with an awkward not-so-genuine smile, and Blaine started to think, that his mother was the only reason why.

He had actually recommended Blaine to stop at Dalton, in his try to bond, so they could be more together, but Blaine liked it there. His best friends, Wes and David were there, and he had really missed them since he was young, where they had grown up together in the lovely – maybe a bit too fancy – neighborhood, and he really loved being in The Warblers too. The guys were great, and he had always loved singing and playing on instruments, something his mother had adored, and he found a relief in it.

Therefore he had decided to finish his high school years at Dalton, so he had to drive the long way to Lima, every time he went to his dad, but it was worth it.

He knew he couldn't be at a public school anyway. He had dealt with bullying after he had come out, just before his mother had died, in the first months of his freshman year, and he could definitely live without any of that...

He got pulled out of his thoughts, as he felt the cold February breeze hit his face, with a surprising strength. He shuddered a bit, and jogged to his car.

He sighed against the leather seat in his way too fancy Mercedes he had got from his father at his sixteenth birthday, not more than a year ago. This car really was silly. Why risk getting your car stolen for... what exactly? Getting jealous, disbelieving and sometimes seducing looks as he drove? Driving faster? He really didn't need any of that. He actually just wanted a car you didn't have to double check after locking.

He couldn't remember driving in this kind of car when he was little. They had had a cozy little car, perfect for the little three-man family. He wanted that back, not this.

But there was nothing he could do, he thought, as he started the quiet purring engine, not for now, anyway, but maybe someday he could. Maybe someday he could move on with his life and get out from this little, uncomfortable, black hole he had buried himself in. And, more importantly, make his father proud and hopefully happy. As happy, as his father could get, anyway... He would find a great job. He had always been interested in law and he really loved reading so that could definitely be an option. Especially since he had gotten straight A's since his fifteenth birthday.

And music... well, music was his dream. He could sing – like a dream, really – and play a few instruments, but would that make his father that proud? And what chances did he have really? It wasn't Blaine Anderson's thing to just give up on things, but what if he didn't make it in the music business? Then he would just be another disappointment in his father's life. He couldn't have that.

And if he ended up as a lawyer, maybe his dad could deal with the fact that someday he would find a husband, a bit better. Because he would… He really wanted to find the perfect boy for him. He wanted the perfect kids – two so that they would never feel as lonely, as Blaine sometimes had, when he was little – he wanted to get legally married with the love of his life.

He wanted to feel in love... He wanted to feel what people talked about when they talked about kissing the one that they love.

Wanted to know how it felt like, to just have a warm embrace to get home to, if he had had a hard day.

Wanted to know how it felt to wrap his arms around someone when he slept and… feel whole again.

He sighed frustrated at himself for letting himself overthink.

Just the chance of finding someone who would actually fall in love with him was really unlikely. He was a mess. No one would be naïve and stupid enough to give their heart to that. To someone who had never even dated… Never anyone. Blaine was just some hopeless romantic. He didn't know a thing about love. He had had his child crushes sure, until they all started to beat him up, when they found out about it.

Well, maybe he wouldn't find out what love really was about. Of course he would find someone some day, he was seventeen for god sake, but he didn't know how to love. He couldn't at all imagine himself down on one knee with that feeling in his stomach. The feeling of doing something completely right, just for once... The feeling of complete happiness…

Well, maybe he could get that from becoming a lawyer. Maybe if he saw his father's proud smile just one more time, he could feel loved. Wasn't that enough? Maybe he wouldn't get that feeling you see on romantic movies, with the hole 'sitting by the lake at summer' and 'kissing in the rain' or just walking around holding hands looking at squirrels in the park. Something so cliché, but still so simple and happy…

That was what he had imagined love to be when he was little. When he would watch those silly, romantic movies with his mother, and think about him doing all of those things with the love of his life, in his case with a boy, of course, and when he had told Amanda that, she had just smiled broadly and kissed his forehead, and told him that if he wanted that, then he could have it.

He almost cried at the thought of that. The thought of little Blaine, so naïve, so oblivious, but more happy than ever…

He stopped the car in front of the hospital, at his usual spot and led out a groan of frustration. What was it with him today? He usually stopped himself from thinking about anything when he drove. It always ended up putting him in an either bad or just sad mood, and he really hated when his father noticed.

He shook the feeling off him and put his a bit fake smile on, when he entered the familiar hospital.

Carole smiled sweetly at him as he approached. She had been the nurse behind the desk as long as Blaine remembered. She was the closest thing to a mother Blaine had, since his mom had died, and she had always cared for Blaine like he was her son. He still remembered how comforting she had been back then, when Blaine's world had stopped, and they had actually bonded. He had felt like he could say what he wanted in front of her and didn't have to stop and think it over, like with his dad. She gave him a sense of comfort.

"Hi Blaine!" she said, "here to see your dad I assume,"

"Hi Carole, yeah as always," he said halfheartedly, and sent her the most genuine smile he could master.

But he didn't fool Carole of course. Her warm, brown eyes suddenly got concerned.

"Are you okay, Blaine?" she asked knowingly, sending him a look.

"I'm okay, Carole," he said almost earnestly, knowing he couldn't fool her, "I just need to go to a football game with my father. Any chance you know where I can find him?"

"Actually he is with my stepson right now," she said and her look suddenly got sad and almost tearful, "he has Osteosarcoma and got hospitalized again a few weeks ago, and I would like to see him, so we can go together," her voice broke at the word 'Osteosarcoma', and Blaine looked at her in shock really.

"Oh my... Carole why haven't you said anything, I had no idea!" he blurted out and he could feel the guilt take over, "I am so sor…"

"No, no!" she interrupted and sent him a reassuring, but not as warm and genuine smile as always, "don't be sorry, please! I didn't say anything, so don't. I just happen to know where your father is, and I'm following you now, okay?" her voice got a bit firm and she held out her hand to take his, and squeezed it gently. He just nodded and followed her up in the elevator, not really knowing what to say. It didn't last long though.

"Is there anything…? Why didn't you tell me?" He interrupted himself, and gave her a concerned look.

"Hon, it's not your problem. I'm doing fine, really. He's... We're just hoping for the medicine to work really. We'll be fine."

He just looked at her in disbelief, chocked by the unexpected and unfortunate news and tried to be polite and give her his condolence, but failed.

"I'm... I'm… I hope you'll... he'll be better,"

She gave her a small smile, and thanked him, surprising him a bit by pulling him in for a hug, as they reached the fourth floor and stepped out.

When he saw his father standing in the little hospital still unable to see the boy in the bed, he suddenly remembered how extremely inappropriate this was. He couldn't just walk in on his father while he worked. And with a patient with bone cancer... His father would be furious if he did that. But Carole didn't seem to notice, and walked up to the little room knocking lightly on the door before he could protest.

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><p><strong> AN (again I know..) So I don't know if I should go on or anything, so please let me know what you think! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Porcelain and Warm Honey**

**A/N**

**Hello again! First of, thank you so much for those who have followed and favorited and even reviewed this story! I really genuinely hadn't seen that coming at all, so thank you!  
>Okay, so this chapter came early, I know. Well, I can't promise there'll be updates so frequently, but I've already written 11 chapters and there are more to come. So for now I just post and write when I feel like it, and well, hope it's okay :)<br>I also just quickly want to apologize for being such a liar in the previous update, where I told you I wasn't hopeless at English... well, I'm sorry... I've been made aware of one particular crazy mistake (food and foot, like, I swear I ****_know_**** the difference! :D) and I promise I'll try and correct and examine my posts more thorough in the future, so you won't have to sit through so many stupid, stupid mistakes. Anyway, sorry for the rambling, love you, and enjoy! xxx ;) 3**

**Disclaimer: Glee... not mine... though with those horrible spoilers I kinda wish it was.**

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><p><span>Chapter 2<span>

Kurt had just woken up, when he saw the familiar form of a man take place in the doorway. He smiled weakly.

"Hi Dr. Anderson," he said tiredly. He was very used to being with this man, but he still kind of fascinated Kurt. He was very handsome with his black, smooth hair, always gelled back, and if it weren't for the few curls that sometimes escaped he would've never guessed that there were curls beneath.

His eyes were a deep green color, and when you looked in them, you were never really sure of how he actually felt inside. The smile on his lips always said the same thing, sure, but his eyes were always a mystery for Kurt. They were never really bright with happiness or joy, but neither sad nor dark. It was like he protected something inside him. As if he had made a shield from his emotions that were a mystery to everyone, and only allowed a few feelings to show up in them.

Kurt had even seen the nurses look a bit wonderingly at him, as if they didn't really get him either.

With that said though, Kurt actually kind of liked Dr. Anderson. He really was friendly, and he never had that glimpse of pity in his eyes that Kurt hated, for which he was very grateful.

"Good afternoon Kurt, how are we feeling today?" he smiled politely with the exact same smile as always, as he walked up to Kurt, and started his daily checking.

Kurt had never really understood what they were about or what they did. He had always just tuned out when all the medical talk came up, scared that that would make his condition much more real.

"Fine, I guess," Kurt responded and shrugged, unable to find anything else to say.

Dr. Anderson just nodded and moved on with the mandatory schedule.

He was almost done, when a light knocking was heard from the door, making Kurt's head snap up, panicking a bit. His friends had stopped visiting him, right? His father had said he wouldn't be back until late, because of work.

But it wasn't either of them. Standing in the doorway, was Carole, smiling lightly, still with the sad flash in her eyes – that made Kurt's stomach twist in discomfort – and beside her was a boy that could be nothing but Dr. Anderson's son.

He had the same black hair, though it wasn't as gelled as his father, and you could actually see his smooth curls. He looked a lot like his father, with the same nose and lips, and he sure had got his father's wild, bushy eyebrows – somehow it just completed his face entirely – but something that caught Kurt's attention, was the boys breathtakingly, beautiful eyes, captured with long dark eyelashes.

They had a beautiful hazel color. Like warm, floating honey. They reminded Kurt of something, he couldn't remember, but felt so safe and comfortable. Like he was looking into a vivid sea of comfort and unknown emotions.

Mesmerized by the gorgeous boy in front of him, Kurt almost didn't see how uncomfortable the boy looked in here. Like he was about to get yelled at. Frowning Kurt looked at Carole who was talking to Dr. Anderson.

"Hello Dr. Anderson, I'm sorry for interrupting, but your son were asking for you."

As soon as the unnamed boy heard Carole mention him, he looked at her with bewildered eyes, and then shot his father an apologetic look, "no it's fine Carole I can just wait outside. I'm sorry for intruding dad," he said with a beautiful melodic voice that made Kurt swoon – yep, this boy could definitely sing – and send Kurt short, apologetic smile.

"No, it's fine!" Kurt said, without thinking, before Dr. Anderson could say anything, glad that his voice was so drunk with sleep, and made him sound casual and uninterested.

The two Anderson's turned to look confused at him, and Carole looked at him with something in her eyes. Was it satisfaction?

Okay, so he thought he had sounded casual and uninterested...

He cleared his throat before he spoke again, a bit embarrassed, "I mean… you don't have to wait outside in the hallway. I don't mind, really," he tried sounding casual, as if he was just being polite, but failed miserably. This boy fascinated him. He made Kurt want answers, by just looking at him. His eyes were even more of a mystery than his fathers. He blushed at his words, though knowing they all still stared at him.

"No, it's fine, I'm done, anyway," Dr. Anderson said and made a gesture for his son and him to leave, but Carole got in their way, "actually, Dr. Anderson, I have something only you can help me with if that's okay. I promise it won't take to long, Blaine you can just wait here, dear," she said and smiled warmly at him.

Dr. Anderson just nodded weakly and followed Carole outside, leaving Kurt alone with the beautiful stranger. What the hell was that all about? Was Carole playing matchmaker or something? Because to be frank, Kurt wasn't in the mood or condition for that matter.

Blaine – that was what Carole had called him, right? – looked incredibly uncomfortable and awkward as he sat down on the chair closest to the door.

Kurt cleared his throat and decided to break the awkward silence, "so, do you know Carole well?" he asked trying not to sound like a twelve-year old girl talking to her crush. He remembered Carole calling Blaine 'dear'.

"Er, yeah," Blaine answered with his calming, soft voice. He cleared his throat, "she's an old, close friend, actually."

"She's pretty likeable..." Kurt said dryly. Blaine nodded and surprised Kurt with another comment, "she said that you are her stepson. I've never known she had one… I'm sorry about… you know..." he made a gesture with his hand at Kurt, poor, bald and in a hospital bed. Kurt suddenly got incredibly self-conscious, for a short moment, looking at the gorgeous boy in front of him with his perfectly gelled hair, and beautiful eyes, compared to Kurt, bald and just woken up. He decided to push the thought away though, and smiled weakly.

"Yeah, kinda sucks," he said with a shrug.

The answer seemed to confuse Blaine a bit, 'cause the boy suddenly looked at Kurt with astonished eyes and looked wondering at him, "aren't you supposed to like... be totally depressed and feel sorry for yourself, or something?" he asked clearly without thinking, because he instantly covered his moth with his hand looking extremely apologetic, but before he could apologize, Kurt burst into laughter, which caused the boy to both relax and make him even more confused.

"Yeah, well," Kurt said still smiling the first real smile in weeks, "not all of us are like that, you know..."

"Oh, god, I'm sorry, that was inappropriate I have no idea..."

But Kurt interrupted him before he could finish, "no, it's fine! Please don't be sorry. I'm tired of feeling sorry for my self, and really tired of people feeling sorry for me, so..."

Blaine nodded, visibly embarrassed, but still so astonished and… admiring?

"Well, that's... something..." he said out of words, trying not to sound too awkward.

"What do you mean?" Kurt said curious, weirdly giddy of having actual company, and somehow just curious about this boy.

"Well... my father's a doctor, and I don't think, I've ever met or seen someone at this hospital with cancer looking, you know, happy. It's weird seeing someone who has accepted it. Especially at our age," Blaine tried to explain, still looking a bit uncomfortable and awkward at this strange dialogue between them, but actually a bit more relaxed.

Kurt just shrugged, "of course I wish things were different, but... there's not much to do now, is there? I'm... we're just trying to be positive," his voice faltered, and he looked down a bit more sad now, at the thought of his fathers struggles.

"Yeah, Carole said something about that," Blaine said in a quiet voice, and looked at the door were Carole had disappeared with his father, just a few minutes ago.

"How come you know Carole so well? I don't think she has ever mentioned you or your father," Kurt said, not wanting to put an end to the first real conversation he had had in weeks.

Blaine moved uncomfortably in his chair and his gaze fell to his hands in his lab. He was about to answer, when the door suddenly opened and Dr. Anderson came in, followed by Carole.

"We're ready to go, Blaine," he said, almost sounding bored, and gave Kurt one last stiff smile.

Blaine stood immediately from his chair, and walked up to stand next to his dad.

Kurt didn't miss the flash of reluctant in his eyes before it disappeared, though, and it made him even more curious.

Why did this boy fascinate him so much? Was it the medicine? Or was he just going crazy, because of the lack of company now, or something? Probably. But actually he didn't really care; he just wanted to know the boy. He was desperate after a friend, he thought to himself, and every new kid who would walk in on him like that, with that look in his eyes, and that face, would fascinate him and make him want to know him, of course. This was natural, right?

He got ripped out of his confusing mind, though, when Blaine spoke again, with his melodic, calming voice, "It was nice meeting you…?"

"Kurt," Kurt said and smiled weakly.

"Right, Kurt," Blaine smiled, and Kurt was almost sure he saw something in the beautiful, strange, strangers eyes – they were even more beautiful when he smiled – something that Kurt, for just one breathtaking second, thought was curiosity and astonishment, but it vanished so quickly that Kurt was worried it wasn't even real.

With that, both of the fascinating Andersons disappeared through the door leaving Carole and Kurt alone.

"What was that all about, Carole?" Kurt asked suspiciously and eyed Carole.

"What was what about, dear?" Carole said innocently, gave Kurt a little smile, and left before Kurt could question her more.

Kurt sat back in his little lonely room, more confused than ever.

…

Blaine really didn't see much of the game his dad had brought him to, which really was unusual for Blaine since he really loved The Buckeyes, and they currently were winning.

He just couldn't keep his thoughts from the strange, astonishing boy at the hospital. He really had amazed Blaine. He had seemed so grateful to just be able to talk to someone. As if he actually had found Blaine fascinating.

And he really had been beautiful. Bald and sick, yes, definitely just woken up, yep, but his eyes had been so... blue… like the ocean just before the sun goes down. Like looking up at a cloudless sky, on a beautiful summer day.

His lips had been slightly pink and always with the ghost of a bit forced smile on them.

He wondered what he looked like with a genuine smile.

Wondered what he would look like, if he looked truly happy, and not so forced, as if he was afraid to hurt someone if he didn't.

He had been really pale, with a slender and fine face, every feature in perfect sink, like a porcelain doll.

It was visible that he was sick of course. The paleness had been on a little more serious level, than normal, and his eyes had seemed to be permanently red rimmed and a little sad, like he hadn't known how to get rid of it, after accepting his disease, but he still reminded Blaine of a beautiful porcelain doll just so much stronger.

"Blaine?" his fathers voice smacked him out of his thoughts, "aren't you paying attention at all? Buckeyes just won!" the sound of excitement in his fathers voice was a bit forced, but at least he tried.

"Oh, I'm sorry dad, I…I'm, err, not feeling that well. Headache, nothing serious." He lied quickly, knowing his dad would be suspicious, if he didn't have a reason, to why he wasn't excited when The Buckeyes had just won a game.

Fortunately his father believed him, "Oh, I'm sorry, Blaine, let's just go home then, okay?"

Blaine smiled at him, appreciating that he really did try to comfort him. His father really wasn't a bad man, just one who was going through a tough time.

"Thanks, Dad."

…

"Hi, Kurt, dear, how are you feeling today?"

"Oh, Carole, hi!" Kurt said with a shocked voice. He had just been drawn away by his thoughts, when Carole had come in. "I'm fine." He couldn't come up with anything else to say. In the end it was kind of true. He wasn't in any bad pain, other than the usual, anyway. He knew she didn't mean mentally.

She smiled and stood by his bedside, laying a hand on his forehead, like a mother checking if his child had a fever. Well, Kurt had passed the 'fever' level by now, so there wasn't really a point. That didn't mean it wasn't nice though. Her hand was so warm and comforting. Okay, so maybe Kurt was a bit cold.

Carole's look got a bit concerned, "feels like you're having a fever," she said and frowned, "are you sure you're okay?"

"Carole, I'm fine, thanks, it's just the usual," Kurt half-smiled soothingly, not really soothing her.

She sighed a bit and nodded, sitting down on the chair next to his bed.

"I thought you could use some company. You seem so lonely nowadays," she said, sounding a bit too worried.

Kurt just shrugged a bit, "I'm okay, really, but thank you for the concern, Carole," he smiled halfheartedly, trying to remember when he last had smiled a real smile.

"Are you sure, hon? You know you can always talk to me, if you need anyone, right?"

"I promise, I'm fine," he said and shrugged, "Sometimes life just gets lonely, right?"

"It's not supposed to be that way, sweetie. It's too unfair to look at life like that," Carole said still with that heartbreaking worry in her voice.

"I don't know," Kurt answered, "Maybe it is, but sometimes life is unfair. You just have to adjust in this world sometimes, Carole. Sometimes you have to appreciate every little good detail in your life, and sometimes it's okay to be picky. But I don't really have a choice now, do I?" His voice turned a bit bittersweet in the end, and he tried to smile again, "I'm just trying to be positive now, though."

Carole just smiled, tears in her eyes as she said: "Kurt you are strong – about the strongest person I've ever met, really – but even the strongest can't go through life alone. It's too hard. Now, I know you don't believe in god, so you really need someone, Kurt. And I just wanted you to know, that I'm here, no matter what, okay?"

Kurt could feel his eyes sting a bit, as the tears fought against his will, and he nodded afraid that his voice would betray him if he said anything. Then he remembered Carole's almost satisfied look, after she had introduced him to the dark haired boy yesterday, and eyed her in suspicion.

"Carole, where do you know Blaine from?" he asked.

Carole seemed to notice the suspicion in his voice, and seemed a bit flustered as she replied.

"Blaine and Dr. Anderson are just some of my old friends. I helped Blaine a lot when he had to go through some things a few years ago, and he sort of became my other stepson. I care about him like I care for you, anyway," she said with a soft, comforting voice, and placed a her warm hand on his, "And I know it looked like I was trying to be some matchmaker, but I just think you and Blaine could... learn from one another. He's just... he's so much like you in some ways, Kurt, and you both need a friend. I'm sorry if I upset you in any way, I just-"

"Its fine, Carole," Kurt said, looking slightly amused, "I was just curious."

She smiled and stood up, "I'm sorry, Kurt, but lunch is almost over. Can I get you anything? Are you hungry?"

"Actually, I just want to get out of this bed a little. Do you think I can walk down to the cafeteria? Just for a few minutes?" his eyes got a bit bigger and puppy-like, which was pretty much impossible to resist, and his voice became pleading and soft. He really didn't need anything of that, though. No one would deny the poor, little boy with cancer anything, right? Especially not Carole…

"I'm sure it won't hurt if it's only a few minutes," Carole smiled and went to help him get up and into the annoying wheelchair, "it must be incredibly tiring and boring to just sit here everyday," she said with a pitying voice, and smiled sadly at him.

"Yeah, but I survive," he said. _For now_, he mentally added, but didn't say it out loud.

…

Blaine entered the hospital, with the same half-smile as always, and that feeling of familiarity, but this time there were something else… some kind of excitement that made absolutely no sense. Was it because of the curious boy from yesterday? Or was it simply because he had got that A for his English essay that morning, and hoped that his father would be proud? Well, he had gotten an A for all his essays and tests, and his dad had always just smiled and patted his shoulder, so why be excited for that?

He got an answer to his silent question when he saw a bald porcelain-like head, sitting in a chair all by himself, in his blue patient gown.

Wait, what was he doing here all by himself. Without thinking, he walked over and bent down to the boy in the chair.

"Aren't you supposed to lay in your hospital bed?" he asked, and the boy yelped and jumped in the chair in surprise.

Blaine's eyes widened, "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!" he said, and couldn't hold back a small smile, as he watched the young boys breathing got even again. Then he saw who was standing there and confusion and curiosity spread across his face.

After a few moments of just standing, and watching intrigued at Blaine, the boy finally found the ability to speak again, "Oh, I just wanted some time away from that annoying, ugly painted room, I mean, yellow? Though I can't really do anything about this hideous hospital gown" he said and grimaced, "Oh, and next time you decide to scare the crap out of a innocent boy with cancer, warn him!" he added, with the ghost of a smile on his lips.

Blaine chuckled, still astonished of the boy, so open and smiling and funny, despite his situation, "I apologize," he smiled, "And I'm sorry about your ugly room and gown, I promise my dad has nothing to do with that," he hesitated and then added, "I am, however, curious to how you can be here all alone."

Kurt just shrugged, "Carole told me she would be here in a few. She had to do something, I guess."

"Well," Blaine said, "I don't think I really got the chance to introduce myself yesterday. I'm Blaine. Anderson, as you may have guessed," he smiled lightly and raised his hand for Kurt to shake it. And so he did.

"Well, in that case, I'm Kurt Hummel," the boy, Kurt, answered and looked a bit surprised at the boy, though still trying to look light and amused, "So what brings you here, Blaine? Are you going out with your dad again, or?"

"Yeah, well, actually I'm just here to follow him home. I came early, though. Mind if I wait here?" he asked, hoping the boy wouldn't be scared away by the sudden change in Blaine's mood, since yesterday.

Fortunately Kurt shook his head eagerly, and then blushed a bit. Blaine sat and looked at into the beautiful cyan eyes in front of him, hoping the admiration wasn't too visible in his eyes. Kurt just looked back a bit stunned, lips slightly parted, as he looked into Blaine's hazel eyes.

After a few moments Kurt cleared his throat, and Blaine snapped back to reality, hoping the light blush he could feel wasn't that noticeable.

"So," Kurt said, sounding cheerful and surprising Blaine yet again, with his contagious optimism, "Tell me something about yourself, Blaine."

Okay, so maybe he liked the sound of his name on this strange, beautiful boy's lips a little too much. He sunk before he spoke, trying to find some random facts about himself, "well, I'm seventeen, and, um, well, not that interesting, really... I like to read, study a lot... my friends call me a nerd. They're just jealous of my straight A's," Kurt chuckled a bit, which made Blaine's stomach swoop, and he couldn't hold back a smile, before he continued, "I like to play music. Really, really much actually… I sing, too. I'm in my schools glee-club – yeah, don't laugh-"

"Wait, seriously, glee-club!" Kurt interrupted, smiling broadly, and blushed a bit.

"Hey, I told you not to laugh!" Blaine said sending him an accusing glare, but still couldn't seem to keep the small smile away from his lips.

"No! No! It's just that... I love glee club! Or, well loved… I used to be in my schools too! Until..." he made a gesture toward his bald head and hospital gown, "It's just a fun coincidence. I hadn't seen you, as that kind of type, is all. Oh, and sorry for interrupting," he added, his eyes so bright, like the ocean on a summer day.

Blaine just looked astonished at him. Well, he almost could have figured that out. Kurt seemed like the type of guy who was in glee club. The guy, who was very aware of his appearance, and cleaned his room at least twice a week and talked girl-talks with the girls... He could easily be gay. Actually it was very likely... but, no, Blaine convinced himself. He wasn't. He couldn't be, right?

Kurt was watching him with curious eyes, as he smiled at him.

"Really? I don't think I've ever met anyone who was in glee club other than my friends. That's so cool!" he said, trying not to express how bad he felt for Kurt, who was stuck in this crappy hospital. He could see that Kurt didn't want that, and honestly, he understood, "And I don't know what kind of 'type' you're referring to, but I definitely am that kind," he said and shrugged.

"Oh, I didn't mean to offend you in any way, I just-"

But Blaine simply silenced him with a hand gesture.

"I wasn't offended, Kurt, don't worry. I think I know what you mean, actually," he smiled, and oh wow, it felt good to say that name... he had to resist saying that name again, over and over, just to hear the sound of it.

Kurt then smiled and looked relieved, "I'm glad," then it seemed like something had hit him, "but where do you go, then? I would have noticed you at McKinley if you were in glee-club," he asked inquiring.

"I go to school at Dalton academy. You know, the school in Westerville. It's a bit of a drive, but I like it there," he answered, not really sure whether to tell Kurt the details. He didn't even know the boy that well yet, but Blaine felt comfortable around him. More comfortable than he had felt in almost two years now, actually…

Kurt just looked amused, but still slightly curious, "Oh, so you're a prep-boy. Well, that wasn't a bigger surprise than the glee-club thing. You're so polite," he mused, but Blaine could hear the curiosity beneath it.

Blaine just smiled slightly, and shrugged a bit, "Like I said, I like it there. And well, yes, some of the boys are kinda... snobbish, but most of them are really nice," he reassured him with a smile. He really enjoyed doing that. He couldn't remember the last time he had smiled genuinely, but, oh, he had really missed it.

"I actually thought about moving there," Kurt said, suddenly quiet and not that cheerful anymore. Obviously he had said that without thinking, because he instantly seemed uncomfortable and regretful.

"Oh," Blaine said, curious and with a sudden urge to comfort the boy, "Why is that?" his voice became velvety and comforting.

Kurt shrugged, and looked apologetic at him, "It's nothing really, it was stupid of me to say that. We don't have to talk about my sorry life, we can talk about something that interests you,"

"What makes you think you don't interest me?" Blaine muttered, a bit taken away by the blue-eyed boys words. How could he not think, that he was interesting. Kurt Hummel was probably the single most interesting kid in all of Ohio.

Kurt blushed a bit, but talked as if he hadn't heard Blaine's words, "Well, I got taunted a bit at my old school. You know what high school is like. If you're not like everybody else, you're a freak. I was in glee club, and…" he suddenly looked uncertain, as he cut himself off.

Blaine looked at him with comfort and patience, his voice so soft, "What?"

Kurt hesitated before he spoke quietly, "I'm the only kid out of the closet at my school."

He watched Blaine carefully as he said it, like he was just waiting for the disgust to show up in Blaine's face.

Blaine couldn't find words really. He just stared at the beautiful boy in front of him. So he was gay. The beautiful boy, with the breathtakingly blue eyes, that Blaine really had grown to like over these few minutes, was gay…

He stopped himself before he thought too much of the situation. So what if Kurt was gay? It didn't mean anything to Blaine, right? It didn't have to anyway. Maybe it was just the reminder of the mess Blaine was, every time he met a gay-boy, who would never fall for him.

When Blaine didn't say anything, Kurt instantly misunderstood it. Hurt and regret quickly overtook his beautiful features. The sight made Blaine's chest ache just a little.

Then Kurt spoke before Blaine could say anything, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just, you asked, and-"

"What- no!" Blaine interrupted, voice a bit louder than he had intended and shaking his head violently. He looked at him reassuringly, "No, you didn't make me uncomfortable, of course not! It's totally fine, I just..."

Kurt breathed out deeply looking relieved, but then noticed Blaine's pause. He suddenly became curious and comforting, just like Blaine had been two minutes ago.

"Just what?" he asked.

Blaine moved uncomfortably in his chair. Now it was his turn to confess.

"I, er, I moved to Dalton after my first year for a reason, you know. It was my freshman year, and I had just come out, and…" he took a deep breath, thinking he could as well tell Kurt everything, "It was a Sadie Hawkins dance that year, so I asked the only other gay kid at the school to go with me. When we arrived there were these three guys from the football team who... beat the living crap out of us."

Kurt looked at horrified and surprised at him, not really knowing what to say.

"Blaine, I'm so sorry," he whispered after a few seconds of just staring and taking in that Blaine was gay too.

Blaine just shrugged.

"I'm fine now. Dalton's great, and… I've learned to deal with it," he smiled softly, and looked into those ocean blue eyes again. Without noticing he relaxed a bit.

Kurt nodded slowly, understanding, and smiled a bit. Blaine couldn't hold back the smile, when his eyes got light and teasing again, and said: "Well, you really are full of surprises, Blaine. I had no idea you were gay. And I'm usually pretty good at spotting that."

Blaine laughed – wow, I felt nice – and felt the relief wash over his body. So Kurt wasn't uncomfortable at all? He hadn't and wouldn't fall for Blaine. That was good! Really good, Blaine remembered, convincing himself that he was happy about it. Of course they could be friends and gay at the same time. Nothing weird about that!

"Well, you don't really know that much about me, you know," he said, teasingly.

Kurt looked amused, "Well, I can always learn, right. For instance, what's your favorite color?"

Blaine smiled, thanking god, that Kurt hadn't misunderstood his last comment as he answered, "Hard one! Well, that would have to be blue. You know, the pretty kind of blue. Not baby blue or dark blue, just like, the ocean, blue," _like your eyes_, he mentally added, quickly convincing himself he hadn't just thought that.

"Wise choice," he said lightly, with his angelic voice, and nodded.

"My turn!" Blaine said triumphantly, wanting to know more about the boy, "Favorite singer?"

They sat like that for some time, just talking and laughing, asking each other questions.

Blaine couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed himself that much, actually, when his father of course had to break the mood, coming from behind surprising Blaine with a cold voice, "Mr. Hummel, what are you doing out of bed? You should be resting!"

Kurt froze, as Blaine jumped in the chair, and looked at his father.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Anderson, I just... wanted some time away from my room," Kurt muttered and made a move to go.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Kurt I forgot. You must be so tired," Blaine said, quickly standing up and to help Kurt into the wheelchair and IV-bag with some kind of medicine beside the table. Why hadn't he noticed that before?

Kurt just looked a little sad again, not really saying anything. Blaine instantly missed the happy boy he had just talked to, before his father had come and ruined it.

He lifted Kurt as if he was air, making Kurt gasp a little, and without thinking he breathed in. Blaine almost sighed in delight. Vanilla and strawberries. The most delicious combination Blaine had ever smelled.

Reluctantly he sat Kurt down in the wheelchair and went behind it, so he could push it for him.

"It's fine dad, I'll take him to his room and make sure he sleeps," Blaine said, wanting to get rid of his father, still a bit pissed at him for making Kurt's smile disappear.

Dr. Anderson nodded and said with a sharp voice: "I will come to check on you later then, Mr. Hummel."

Kurt just nodded and let Blaine push away from the doctor.

When Blaine's father was out of sight, Kurt sighed.

"You didn't have to do that, Blaine," he said quietly, suddenly sounding tired.

"Of course I did! I'm still sor-"

"Don't. Don't say you're sorry, please. I'm tired of hearing that," Kurt said, suddenly sounding sad. Blaine frowned, feeling the urge to take his hand, hug him, kiss him, whatever he could do to make him happy again. Kurt didn't deserve this. He really didn't deserve this.

"Okay," Blaine just said, hating not being able to do anything more than that.

Kurt quickly cheered up, though. What was it with this boy?

"But thank you," he said as they entered the elevator, smiling slightly.

"Sure!" Blaine said and smiled back.

Blaine took him to his room as promised, remembering where it was, and lifted Kurt once again, taking in as much of Kurt's scent as he could. He blushed a bit as his arm touched the back of his knee. God, how could his skin be so soft? Blaine had to resist the urge to reach out and touch Kurt's cheek, wanting to know if his face was as soft as it looked, too.

"You really don't have to-"

"Shush, I want to," Blaine interrupted, as he laid him down in the soft bed. For a moment their gazes locked, hazel meeting cyan, only a few inches from each other.

Blaine stood up quickly, wanting the butterflies to go away.

Kurt looked a bit flustered, lips slightly parted as he looked intently at Blaine. He quickly controlled himself, though, and smiled again.

"It's my turn, you know."

Blaine just smiled, and did absolutely not want to kiss the boy right there, more than anything in the world.

"I can always come back if you want, but right now I think you're a bit too tired, Kurt," he said silently begging the universe for Kurt to want him to.

As if to emphasize his point Kurt yawned loudly. He nodded and made himself comfortable under the covers.

"Just one more question," he said with closed eyes, already half asleep, "You said you like to sing, and musicals and – yawn – stuff, right? So what's your favorite musical?"

Blaine hesitated at that, the memory of his absolute favorite day overwhelming him.

He was just about to answer, when he heard Kurt's breathing getting deeper and slow. He looked down at the beautiful boy, so peaceful while he slept.

He looked so relaxed, every expression gone from his face, and it was just Kurt. No smile, no frown or worry, just a pale, bald, innocent, and beautiful boy, that Blaine had grown to really care about, after just one conversation.

He licked his lips, and had to resist the urge to bend down and kiss Kurt's head, and take in his scent one more time.

"I'll be back," he said quietly before leaving the beautiful boy alone, to sleep.

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><p><strong>More? Please tell me if there's anything you like or dislike! :) <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Porcelain and Warm Honey**

**A/N**

**Hello sweeites! Thank you (again) for all the favorites and followers I ****_really _****appreciate it! Here's chapter 3. **

**Disclaim: Don't own glee, but am definitely... intrigued by the season 6 spoilers and blah blah... **

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

Kurt slept strangely well that night. He never woke up from the pain or a nightmare, like he was used to by now.

It may had have something to do with the fact, that he had overworked his body so much yesterday, but Kurt had a feeling it was something more than that. He was in a way too good mood, rethinking his conversation with Blaine all over again in his head. It felt so good to actually talk to someone, as if he was nothing more than an ordinary boy. To not have to see that look of pity and fear of saying the wrong thing or set him off, in another persons eyes. He had longed for a friend for so long, and maybe he was about to get one. Maybe. If Blaine wanted to come back, of course... Had Kurt scared him away yesterday, when he fell asleep? He remembered asking Blaine a question before falling asleep, but he never get to hear the answer. Was Blaine offended that he just fell asleep like that?

No. No, if he thought he knew this boy right, he was positive he wasn't like that. He was way too polite and caring.

Kurt had after only the first few minutes decided that he really liked the boy. He still felt like Blaine was some kind of mystery. He desperately wanted to know more about this boy. He wanted to get to know him. He seemed a bit lonely, too, like Carole had said. Did they really have that much in common? After their conversation yesterday, it actually seemed like they did.

Kurt never thought he would find anyone who really got him, when it came to the whole bullying-thing. It had come like a shock for Kurt to find out that Blaine was bullied too. And that he was gay.

That Kurt had never predicted. Blaine, the incredibly handsome, boyish, son of a doctor, who seemed so polite and well raised, gay? Well, he went to an all-boy school, yeah, but Kurt had at first just thought he did that because he could afford it. Later he found out that Blaine wasn't like that, though. He was down to earth, and incredibly modest. Kurt was actually kind of amused by him. Who would have thought you would fine an actual real-life replica of Romeo?

But in some way, Kurt sensed Blaine wasn't as perfect as he seemed. He was more than just a modest, polite prep-boy. So much more. Even Kurt's gay-dar couldn't reach him, so what on earth could this boy contain more than that? Pretty much everything…

The fact that Blaine was gay, felt strangely saddening to Kurt, though. As if it reminded him of the situation, all over again. How Kurt had absolutely failed at romance. How Blaine obviously had a boyfriend – I mean, one look at the boy and you would know that – and he never would. He had spent so many months on trying to accept that, though, so he refused to let it bring him down.

Of course Blaine would never fall for him – someone who looked like Blaine had to have higher standards, even if he had Blaine's personality – so why even bother to get self-conscious and upset about his failed love life in the first place? Being friends with Blaine was worth everything, anyway. Besides it wasn't like Kurt was falling for the guy.

Kurt sat in his hospital bed, re-reading Romeo and Juliet all over again for the thousandth time out of plain boredom, when he heard a velvet voice he had really grown to love after just one day.

"West Side Story," the angelic voice said – god, how was it possible for a human being's voice to sound so soft?

Kurt's head snapped up from the book, and saw Blaine standing in the doorway, looking more gorgeous than ever.

His black hair was gelled back like yesterday, but you could still see the soft curls. His hazel eyes were so bright. Liquid. Once again they reminded Kurt of warm honey, in the light of the lamp at his nightstand. Blaine really had the most beautiful eyes Kurt had ever seen.

His full lips were turned upwards in a small, wry smile, that made Kurt brain melt for just a few seconds. Yep, Blaine really was inhumanly beautiful. This friendship was going to be interesting.

That was when Kurt saw what he was wearing. He had a red and blue jacket, with a neat little D on the front pocket, with a matching red and blue striped tie.

His legs were covered in loose gray pants that somehow completed the look perfectly.

If Kurt had thought that Blaine looked good before, he looked like gods most precious piece of art right then.

That was when he realized Blaine had said something.

"E-excuse me?" he choked out, and did absolutely not blush.

"My favorite musical. West Side Story," Blaine repeated, and this time Kurt heard the hint of sadness in his voice.

"Oh, right," Kurt muttered, "That's, well, I love West Side Story, too!"

Blaine just smiled slightly, "I hope it's okay I came by. I felt rude for just leaving without an answer yesterday. Oh, and don't mind the uniform. I didn't really take the time to change. Can I come in?"

Kurt found himself nodding eagerly – maybe a bit too eagerly – and blushed a bit, still in shock that Blaine had actually come back. He felt a bit guilty for what Blaine had just said. After all it wasn't him who had just fallen asleep.

"Su-sure!" he said, and Blaine sat, this time in the chair closest to Kurt's bed.

"It is sort of sad, though, don't you think?" Kurt said, as he sat, "West Side Story, I mean. I like The Sound of Music better. It's so happy, even when it's sad. Yes, that sounded weird, but I am horribly drugged right now, so I'm excused."

Blaine laughed his angelic laugh, that made Kurt stomach swoop. _It's the medicine_, Kurt thought, It had to be.

"Well, I like how it's so sad and beautiful. It makes it more real, don't you think? And I really like Tony, actually, I've always had this connection with him, I guess,"

Kurt thought about that, a bit amazed by the boy in front of him. Now that he thought of it, Blaine reminded him a bit of Tony. Charming, but so sweet and modest and apparently a hopeless romantic, too.

"Well, yeah, you're right. Guess I just never saw you as the hopeless romantic type," Kurt smiled teasingly.

Blaine just shrugged and looked down, cheeks slightly red.

"Why is it your favorite musical, Blaine? Is that the only reason?" Kurt knew there was something he wasn't telling him, and he was curious as always, about this boy.

Blaine seemed a bit uneasy at the topic, and Kurt almost made him forget the question, but something stopped him. He wanted to know Blaine, and somehow, he sensed that Blaine needed to talk about something. As if he needed someone, too.

"I, er, when I was little I went to see West Side Story with my mom in New York," Blaine started, gaze locked at his entwined hands in his lab, "It was on my fifth birthday. It was the first time I had ever been to a real Broadway-show before and I remember being so excited," he smiled sadly at the memory, and Kurt found himself wondering why he looked so sad. He made sure to not bother Blaine, though, giving him all the time he needed to talk. He never thought Blaine would open up to him like that. He didn't seem like that kind of guy, who spills out every secret and memory in front of a complete stranger, and Kurt was a bit flattered that Blaine felt comfortable enough around him to do exactly that.

"I remember just staring at the actors in awe, thinking they were like gods, blushing and giggling every time the guy who played Tony, as much as glanced towards the audience, and my mother noticed, of course. She just looked so proud of me for some reason, so happy that I was excited. All the time after that, I went around singing 'something's coming', and 'one hand, one heart' and all the other songs. Mom would sometimes join me. We pissed my dad off," he laughed at that, and that was when Kurt saw the glistening tears, in his beautiful hazel eyes, "she always loved when I sang. She said I was like her own personal angel," and that was when he couldn't hold back the tears anymore, "Oh, I-I'm sorry!" he said, wiping his tears away furiously, "I'm sorry for just waltzing in and start wailing, I just-" but when he reached up for wiping off the new tears that started streaming with an aggressive hand, Kurt laid a hand on his, and held it back, which caused Blaine to stop speaking. Kurt could feel it, too. The almost electricity-like feeling between hands that almost made Kurt get goose bumps.

His skin was so rough, though still so soft and warm. It felt so nice to have his hand there, so he didn't remove it. He couldn't stop but think how beautiful Blaine was, even when he cried.

"Blaine, stop!" he said quietly, almost like a whisper, "I want to hear about it. I want to know you," Kurt almost blushed at his extremely cheesy words, though he really didn't know why. It was true, wasn't it? Kurt wanted a friend, so why not just admit it. Besides, it didn't seem to bother Blaine at all. He just looked a little shocked at their hands. Kurt didn't let go, though, he held his hand in a firm grip, as if that would him calm down a bit. And if he was being true, Kurt almost believed it had some kind of calming effect on Blaine. He seemed to relax a little, and he didn't even do anything when his tears started to fall again, he just stared intensely at Kurt.

Kurt refused to let this boy's inhumanly gaze take away his common sense, though, and lifted the hand, that wasn't holding Blaine's up, and wiped away his tears, ignoring the electricity and his, oh, so soft skin against his fingertips, and sent him a comforting smile.

"Now, tell me," he whispered, and squeezed his hand. Kurt wondered how long it had been since someone had actually taken care of this boy. Carole said something about taking care of him, but Carole was busy, of course, and didn't really have the time to have three sons. And his father… Well, his father didn't really seem like the type of guy who would sit down and talk about your feelings. But what about Blaine's mother? Where was she in all of this?

Blaine just looked painfully at him, and Kurt could actually feel his heart ache a little, positive that, the disease didn't cause that.

"Where's your mom, Blaine? It doesn't sound like she would judge you for being gay, so what is it? She seems so perfect,"

Blaine flinched at his words, and looked at him as if he begged him to understand.

"She-she was," Blaine said, in a barely loud whisper.

That was when Kurt understood. Of course... Of course, how could he be so stupid? Was it the medicine, or something?

He could suddenly hear Carole's voice in his head, "_He's just... he's so much like you in some ways, Kurt, and you both need a friend,_" was it that she had meant? Had she meant they could help each other with the same problem?

All suddenly just made sense. Was that the reason of Dr. Anderson's monotone eyes? Was that why Blaine always came and visited him at the hospital?

He couldn't do anything but stare at Blaine for some time. Swallowing his words. Was it really possible that he could have this much in common with this boy?

Blaine just looked down at Kurt's hand, that hadn't let his go yet.

"I-I'm sorry if I freaked you out, Kurt, this was stupid, and selfish. I swear I'm not the kind of guy who just walks in and tell a random boy in the hospital everything about his poor life, as if you don't deal with a lot worse here, I just-"

"Blaine," Kurt interrupted his rambling, unable to say anything else.

Blaine looked at him, expectantly with his glistening, puppy-eyes, more beautiful than ever. His eyes had got even warmer and softer after he had cried, and he was sure he saw a glimpse of green and gold in the hazel now. He felt his brain melt for a second, before he forced himself to focus. Thank god for self-control.

"Blaine, I, wow, Carole was right," he couldn't really find his words, and he actually felt bad for keep Blaine waiting for a coherent respond from him, but he didn't seem to remember how to formulate words.

Blaine frowned slightly at his words, his eyes, still big and puppy-like – were they always like that after he'd cried? – And send him a bit confused look.

"W-what did Carole say?" he asked then and sniffled adorably, trying hard to keep himself from breaking down again.

Kurt just looked at him and opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. His mouth didn't work normally right now.

He squeezed Blaine's had before letting it go – instantly missing the warm, soft skin against his – and reached for the little, framed picture on his nightstand and gave it to Blaine, who carefully watched it, and if Kurt wasn't very wrong, he thought he saw the tiniest, sad smile on Blaine's lips as he looked at it, admiration in his eyes.

"I-is this your mom?" Blaine said in a whisper, and gestured towards the little photo in his hands.

Kurt just nodded, thankful that Blaine figured it out so fast.

"I- she, I was six when she died," he then whispered, eyes filled with tears, as the boy in front of him looked incredibly at him, eyes so shining, so bright and beautiful, yet so sad that it almost shattered Kurt's heart right there.

"Kurt, I, I'm... I know how it feels," Blaine ended up saying, obviously avoiding saying 'I'm sorry' well aware how annoying those three words were.

Kurt just smiled sadly, still with tears in his eyes.

"You weren't that old, though, were you? I can see it in your eyes. You're still hurting too much. And you and your father's relationship..."

Blaine nodded along the lines, "Yeah, no I wasn't. I- two years ago... my mother, she... she was in an accident. Car accident. She died on the spot,"

Kurt couldn't hold himself from taking the other boys hand, still missing the softness, and just wanting to comfort him someway.

"I- Blaine that's awful!" he whispered, still feeling so shocked that this boy was so alike him in some ways. He had never met anyone who could ever relate to any big sorrow of his life until now.

Blaine just shrugged, polite as always, and smiled a watery smile at Kurt.

"You know, I know this is weird, and really buzz killing. You don't- we can talk about something else if you'd like," he said, trying to sound casual.

But that just made Kurt frown and squeeze his hand again.

"Blaine, of course we can talk about this! I don't even- I just, this is... this is the first time someone could ever relate to my feelings about this completely, so please don't… don't shut me out here, 'kay?" he pleaded.

That made Blaine turn his hand upwards, so that he could hold Kurt's hand properly, and squeezed it lightly.

And then he started talking and it felt like he couldn't stop: "One day I got home from school – I went to a public school back then – and I saw my dad stand in the kitchen, frozen. He had dropped his cell, on the floor, and stared out into nothing. I have never seen my dad so... terrified before. As if all his happiness had been taken from him, just like that. I-I remember asking my dad what was wrong, but never got an answer. I went over and shook him trying to get him look at me, but he just... never did. He looked right through me, as he told me in a completely unrecognizable, monotone voice that m-mom had been in an a-accident. That she was d-dead," this time the Blaine let the tears stream down his face, still holding Kurt hand in an almost painful grip, as if it was his only comfort, "I just... I didn't believe him. I shouted at him. I said he couldn't just joke like that, couldn't say something that horrible. I shook him again and again, tried to get him to say to me, that this wasn't true. That it was a mistake, but he didn't do anything. He didn't even flinch when I yelled. He just… stood there.

I had never seen dad so... broken. Nonfunctional, like he was more dead than alive. And then I just... I-I just, broke down. I collapsed. I literally sat down on the floor and started crying uncontrollably. I kept thinking it wasn't true. I remember just th-thinking 'it's a mistake, it's not real'. Nothing really seemed to make sense in that moment, really. My world just stopped, as dramatic as that sounds, but it's true. It just did. People just don't get it when I tell them. They don't understand what it's like... like you're losing a part of you. I know you do, though," he whispered the last words out, and Kurt nodded crying silently.

"Yeah... yeah, I know, Blaine," he said, and couldn't do anything but squeeze the other boys hand, though he wanted to do so much more. He wanted desperately to be able to hold him and tell him that everything would be okay.

But just Kurt being there was enough apparently, and Blaine kept on talking: "After that, the relationship between my dad and I got strained and uncomfortable. We never talked... to anyone really. It took months before my dad took the courage to arrange the funeral. And he didn't even do it at all... our friends helped out – Carole was one of them. Everyone loved my mom, and they made sure the funeral got unforgettable and beautiful.

In school I tuned out, though. People said they were sorry everywhere, and I got so sick of it. In the end I just... stopped listening. I didn't even really care about the bullying – which didn't get better – in the start. I always got bullied, as I told you, but the first few months after mom's accident, I didn't even bother to listen to their insults.

They reminded me of my mother. The bullies, I mean. Not like that, but... my mom, she... she tried to protect me from it. I knew she didn't believe me when I told them the bullying wasn't that bad. She sensed it in my mood, and read me like an open book as always.  
>She died right after I came out, in the start of my freshman year, just when the bullying was at its worst.<p>

She had complained to the school some times, and I knew that morning... the last time I saw her, when she kissed me goodbye. I knew something was up. I knew she would try to fight for me again, and I just... I felt so happy. So lucky that I had my mom there to support me... and when she disappeared... I was lost... for some time I didn't even recognize myself.  
>Suddenly I didn't do anything but study. I really didn't have much of a life, really. I knew I took the whole scandal too hard, but I couldn't come out of the blackness in my head. There was no one there to help me. My father... well, just like me he drowned himself with work. I never saw him. He has always had a bit of a hard time, with me being gay and all that... when I first came out my mom was so supportive, of course, and he just kept quiet and leaved it to her to deal with. She gladly did of course, but suddenly she wasn't there, and he just... he couldn't really handle it.<p>

He couldn't look me in the eyes. Mostly because I have my mother's eyes, but also because he never really learned how to connect and accept me, I guess.

I know he loves me. He always has, he just went through so much and it got too much for him.  
>So that's why he sent me to Dalton. He claimed it was because of the bullying – it was after the whole Sadie Hawkins crisis – and I'm sure some of it was because of that, but I think it was to escape from me too... or rather to get rid me, just for some time, and I think that was what kept him from going completely crazy, actually.<p>

It turned out sending me to Dalton was the best idea my dad has ever come up with, though. I found out my old childhood friends David and Wes – the ones I've mentioned before – went there, and they really helped me a lot.

They helped me rediscover music, for instance. I never really dared singing the first few months, but it only took weeks for those guys to help me join 'The Warblers' and I found out it gave me a feeling of joy. I relax whenever I sing or play, and for some time I forgot that.

I joined the soccer team, too, actually. After my sophomore year I stopped though, but I never stopped exercising. It's my other stress relief. I like running. Forget about everything else and be free for a little while... believe it or not I actually joined the Dalton fight club, too, to, you know, get the aggravation out if needed. I'm pretty decent with boxing gloves now," he smiled lightly, clearly in a bit better mood now, to Kurt's big relief.

"I still use a lot of time study, though. Think I've mentioned it before. I got better. Much better. I started talking a lot to Carole, and she was good at listening, though she never really would get it like you do, of course...

My father got better, too. He got better at talking when I came home in some weekends, and sometimes he actually smiled again – I suspect Carole and a psychologist had something to do with that – and ever since he has tried to make up for me, I guess. He takes me to football and baseball games all the time – I like football – and got me things like a new phone and a computer. Within six months I got a brand new guitar and an amazing piano. He even got me a car.

I appreciate it, I really do, and though all I could ever want from my dad is a moment of pure son-and-father-time, where I can tell him about my day and life, and he can help me with homework or just sit and talk to me, I know this is the way he shows me he loves me, and tries to accept me for who I am... he actually suggested I come back home, but like I said, I like it at Dalton, and I would rather not go back to that crap school of mine again. He understood, and now I come here every so often to check on him, or to go out. Maybe some day he'll be able to be the dad I'm sure he wants to become, and the dad I want so badly."

Blaine breathed out deeply as he finished his long talk, still clutching Kurt's hand in his, though much more relaxed now, and eyes dry again.

Kurt stared amazed, terrified and moved at the beautiful boy in front of him, who had opened up to him, not more than two days after they'd met.

His history was awful, though. So much worse than Kurt's. That explained everything there ever was to question about Dr. Anderson, though, and Kurt felt the curiosity about this boy vanish, though still amazed and astonished by him. Was he really that comfortable around Kurt? Was he really as comfortable as Kurt was with him? Did he want to be Kurt's friend as much, as Kurt wanted to be Blaine's?

"I- wow," Kurt said sounding just like he felt, amazed, terrified and moved, "Blaine that's- wow... you know, I know you'll hate me, but even though I get and understand you, I am so sorry that you had to go through all that. No one deserves that. Especially not you," he squeezed his hand again, and it almost felt natural now for him, holding this angelic boys hand, calming and, of course, the cause to a few butterflies in his stomach, but still very natural.

Blaine just smiled sadly and looked fondly at Kurt, eyes so bright and suddenly not that mysterious, anymore. Just the breathtakingly hazel color, that reminded Kurt of warm honey or syrup every time he got lost in them. It was like the color actually moved. As if his eyes was a golden, liquid sea, of emotions and honey. And his voice fitted that scenario perfectly as he talked.

"Thank you, Kurt," he said in a almost-whisper, "I know this is kinda strange and stuff, but I just... never met anyone who can really listen and understand at the same time. I just... needed to get it out, so, thanks for listening to my rambling," he smiled at the last part, eyes almost glistening up again, still liquid and gold.

"It wasn't rambling, Blaine! I really wanted to hear your story, you know," Kurt admitted, oh why not, he should die anyway, "I saw it in your eyes when I first met you. There was something in your eyes, I've experienced in my own before, back then, when I was too little to understand. I wanted to know you instantly, "I'm just... I've kinda lost my friends, really, I forgot what it's like to trust someone deeply enough, so thank you... for reminding me, and trusting me,"

Blaine smiled at him sweetly, and then suddenly looked a bit nervous.

"Is that what we are? Are we friends?" he asked eyes glimpsing hopefully, too adorable for his own good.

Kurt felt his stomach swoop, as it hit him. Blaine really wanted to be his friend. He had a friend!

"Well, I'm not the kind of guy who tells everything about my mom to a stranger so… yeah... yeah, we're friends. If you want that, of course," Kurt smiled teasingly and realized he hadn't let go of Blaine's hand, but didn't do anything. It didn't seem like Blaine didn't like it. Actually Blaine held his just as much as he held Blaine's.

"Of course I want that," Blaine almost whispered, as his lips formed into a smile. It disappeared pretty quickly though, as if he was reminded of something, "I- I want to hear your story, too, though. I want to know you too, y'know."

Kurt's teased smile turned into a slightly sad one, though, still moved and kinda surprised to find someone who actually volunteered to hear his story.

Someone who would actually hold his hand, just like Blaine did right now, and look at him with those eyes and just... be there for him. Oh wow, he really did have a friend!

"Well, my story really isn't that long, I guess. She- she died from cancer, actually. Ironic and horrible I know," he felt Blaine's grip his hand firmer, and send him a reassuring and comforting look, "it was breast cancer. Worse than this, of course," he made a gesture towards himself.

"When she first started getting sick, I was about five, I guess. She didn't last long. They found it too late. We never had that much hope, really.

When she died... my dad, he- he had a hard time, too, of course, but he really was the best dad. He tried so hard. I was... I liked playing with the girls more than the boys. I loved Broadway-shows, and singing, and walking around with high heels and sometimes skirts, actually. My mom loved me no matter what, of course, supported me all the time, just like yours. I'm sure they would be the greatest friends if they knew each other," he gestured towards the little, framed picture of him and his mom baking, that he had showed Blaine before, "I loved baking too," he added and smiled at the memory, before he continued.

"My dad, he- he had a hard time adjusting to that. When my mother was around he would go to her for help, but suddenly he was all alone, and it was scary for him, of course. He did a great job, though. We compromised on a lot of stuff. Made it work. I would get to see a Broadway-show, if I would go to a game with him. It did kinda work, but it didn't really have the effect my dad had wished. I never began to like football or baseball, or whatever. At first I think he was a bit disappointed, but eventually he adjusted.

We got closer after those years. Really close, actually. I helped my dad and he helped me. We were each other's rocks, I guess.

We made the first years work. We were great, really, but then high school started. For me it was a pure hellhole. You know, some may think I'm a bit feminine or whatever, and people instantly made sure I knew that, " at that Blaine frowned and looked a bit confused, which made Kurt smile a bit.

"When I joined glee everything got worse, of course, and then I... when I came out it was almost unbearable. I guess I'm kinda lucky I only had live with it for a year. I came out, about the first few months of my sophomore year, and, well, I'm supposed to be a junior.

My dad... he had a hard time accepting it at first. He claimed he had always known – and well, it is kinda obvious when you first know me – but apparently it was still a bit hard on him. Eventually he learned to accept it, though. Pretty quickly, actually. He says he loves me no matter what, and so... I believe him, I guess. Besides I can see the worry and concern – and dread, of course – when he looks at me, and I'm not saying it's not terrible and extremely guilt-inducing, but it make me certain that he really does love me, no matter what, and that's... well, I'm devoting my life to be optimistic nowadays, so that's... kinda nice, I guess."

Blaine just smiled at him sadly at him, and for once in almost four months, he didn't see the flash of pity, just understandability. Well, the closest to that you could get, anyway. Just for that he wanted to kiss him out of gratefulness.

He still held his hand comfortingly, and Kurt felt... safe. It was incredibly strange, but somehow this beautiful almost stranger, could just burst in, and make him feel so... connected. Safe. That was when it hit him how much he had missed a friend.

"I really admire you, you know," he somehow found himself saying before Blaine get to say anything, "I don't know how I would ever cope without my dad there to help me. Or any friends for that matter," he prayed he didn't sound condescending or hurtful in any way, as he looked into those golden, liquid eyes again, refusing to drown completely in them.

"Well, I didn't really. I really was a mess until my friends at Dalton came on their white horses, I guess," he said, rolling his eyes and almost smiled at the comparison of his friends and Prince Charming. Somehow Kurt found himself finding that, way too adorable for his own liking.

"Why do I feel like thanking them?" Kurt said and smiled wryly.

Blaine smiled even wider at that, and squeezed his hand.

"You're just a very good friend, I guess," he said with a shy smile that did some strange things to Kurt's head and stomach.

He felt himself smiling teasingly, "I guess I am. I'm not that experienced, though, so bear with me, please!"

Blaine laughed – and oh, god, that sort of angelic laughs should come with a warning.

"Well, you're doing a fine job for now," he reassured him, and then beautiful features got serious again, "But, thank you, for, you know, sharing that. Really, you're right, how can I have so much in common with one person?"

Kurt smiled at that, knowing exactly what he meant.

That was when Kurt, of course, began coughing violently, and suddenly he didn't feel so good. Great, this definitely was the best way to scare his new friend away, before he even got the chance to really call him a friend.

Blaine's soft smile instantly turned into a concerned look, as he paged a nurse, letting go of Kurt's hand in the act.

The nurses came quickly and checked on him, making sure he was okay – as okay as he could be, of course – and then gave him his medicine. He almost groaned as he realized it was the medicine that made him extremely tired.

The drama went over quickly, though, and Kurt lay down, already too tired for his own liking.

He just wanted to talk to Blaine some more, was that too much to ask?

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked voice incredibly soft and concerned.

That made Kurt's stomach gulp uncomfortably. Had he scared away Blaine now? Couldn't he, like every one else, bear to have a friend with cancer, simply because it was too worrying?

Kurt just nodded, praying that the worry couldn't be seen on his face, still feeling the tiredness take over his body. He really hated the feeling of that.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, happens all the time," he just said, cursing himself silently instantly. _Do you want Blaine to walk away, moron? _

"You know, I admire you too," Blaine said quietly, "You're so happy and accepting. I think I've mentioned that, but I never think I said how strong that is of you."

Kurt felt the warmth of Blaine's words spread in his chest, overwhelmed by the gratitude and relief. So he hadn't scared Blaine away?

He simply smiled at Blaine, trying to show his feelings in his smile, too tired to actually express himself thoroughly.

"I just... I don't have another choice I guess," he said and yawned suddenly, "I'm sorry, this damn medicine always makes me so tired."

Blaine just smiled understandingly. Okay, so how could this boy be real, again?

"You should get some sleep, then," he whispered and reached out to take Kurt's hand again, but hesitated just before he touched him, "Can I?" he asked softly.

Kurt nodded eagerly, wanting to feel the electricity and warmth from the boy again.

Blaine took his hand, and yet again, Kurt felt the inhumanly soft feeling of Blaine's hand against his. He couldn't remember someone's touch feel that good, ever.

"You know, one day you have to tell me about this," Blaine whispered softly, a few seconds after. Kurt nodded tiredly, at first too tired to really get that Blaine actually wanted to see him again. When it hit him he instantly opened his closed eyes and looked at Blaine again who suddenly looked worried and a bit afraid, "If you want to, I mean, of course you-"

"So you'll come back?" Kurt just interrupted, not really hearing Blaine's reassurances.

Blaine shut up instantly, taken away by his words. Confusion and worry took over his features quickly.

"Wha- of course I'll be back," Blaine said, sounding just as confused as he looked, "Don't you want me to, or-?

"No, no, of course I want you to, Blaine, it's just – yawn – my old friends always seemed so scared every time that happened, and sometimes they just – yawn – didn't come back for a long time."

Horror and disbelief showed on Blaine's face as Kurt said that, and through his half closed eyes Kurt saw it and felt his heart flutter.

"Kurt, that's horrible I would never- of course I'll be back!" Blaine said quietly, and squeezed his hand.

Kurt just smiled his eyes closed again, "Hmm, good! You're a good friend, Blaine, a very good friend, even though – yawn – I've only known you for a couple of days," Kurt felt the medicine take over as his voice kept talking, oh well, he could be mortified tomorrow, "Do you know that feeling. Like you've just met the person, but it feels like you've known him for ages. That's how I feel with – yawn – you, Blaine, and it's nice, so comforting and safe. You're a good friend, Blaine!" he repeated and couldn't do anything to stop the rambling, and frankly, he was too tired to care.

He could hear the adoringly smile in Blaine's voice as he answered with a angelic voice, "Yeah, I know that feeling, Kurt, you're a good friend, too,"

Kurt smiled, still with closed eyes.

"Mmh, good friend, Blaine... such a sweet voice," he muttered, still not controlling his own words, "Will be back tomorrow?"

Blaine chuckled, and Kurt couldn't help himself from smiling at that, humming silently.

"I think we just established that, Kurt. I will," he whispered half-chuckling, voice close. So close it almost made Kurt shiver.

He just nodded, not really knowing if it was a visible nod, or just a weird gesture with his head, eyelids so heavy all of sudden.

The last thing he heard was a soft, velvet-voice whispering: "I'll see you."

He could have sworn he fell asleep with a tugged smile on his lips.

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><p><strong>AN**

**Requests? Gusta, no gusta? Anything? Let me know! ;) xx **


	4. Chapter 4

**Porcelain And Warm Honey**

**A/N **

**Hi lovelies! (not sure that's a word, don't care)**

**So here's chapter 4. Once again thank you for all you lovely people who've fav'ed, reviewed etc... yeah, you know who you are. Hope you know that you always make my day a little better :)  
><strong>**Oh! and before any confusion, I've made Elizabeth die when Kurt was six instead of eight, as you might've noticed ;)**

**Sorry if it's ben quite long, but... school.. so, enjoy a pretty long chapter and some more crying! I apologize for possible mistakes..**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Glee, but once again I'm glad, 'cause... ELEVATOR SCENE SOON! :D :D :D **

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><p><span>Chapter 4<span>

"Blainers, are you listening? God, Davis what's wrong with him? He's been like that all day!"

Blaine rolled his eyes at his best friend's exaggeration.

"There's nothing wrong with me, Wes, I'm totally fine."

"And would you stop calling me Davis? Has anyone ever told you, you suck at picking nicknames?" David added.

"Okay, first, I'm great at picking nicknames, Davis, and second, Blainers do you actually _want_ us to believe you?"

"He's kinda right, y'know, Blaine, you're weirdly happy, and sometimes you just tune out," David said voice sounding a bit concerned.

Blaine sighed dramatically, looking around in the Dalton cafeteria, which they were currently seated in.

"And what's wrong with being happy all of sudden?"

Wes and David just eyed him suspiciously.

"You know, if I didn't know better, Blainers I would think you had a crush," Wes winked and smirked, but that quickly escalated, and changed into shock, "wait you have a crush?" Wes practically yelled, his face suddenly getting way too excited – so much for being the smartest head in his class.

"What no! No, I don't- I don't have a crush!" Blaine said too quickly, and felt his face getting redder.

Wes and David just stared at him for a second, and then exclaimed in unison, "You have a boyfriend without telling us?"

Blaine blushed furiously now, looking around and seeing people staring at them.

He would actually be amused by the expression on his best friends' faces if the circumstances were different.

"Would you two shut up?" Blaine hissed, "No! I do not have a boyfriend or a crush or anything, okay? He's just a friend," it hit Blaine that he had said the last part out loud too late.

Wes and David's smiles got excited and smirked, just at the same time. Blaine had to admit, that their similarity actually was kind of amusing.

Then Wes turned to David, feigning being touched, "Oh, Davis, our little Blainers has got a lover!"

David rolled his eyes at the nicknames once again, "You know, Wes, just because you add an 's' behind a name, it does not make it a good nickname!"

Wes just waved his hand in David's direction, turned back to Blaine again, "So, Blainers, tell us!"

Blaine rolled his eyes, as even David's eyes got curious.

"Okay, look guys, I do not like him that way he's just-"

"Blainers, just cut the crap and tell us about him! Does he go our school? Oh god, it isn't Sebastian, is it?"

"Wes, shut up, it's not Sebastian!" Blaine hissed and looked disgusted, knowing it wasn't worth discussing with Wes about his not-crush. Wes seemed to relax a little at his words, though.

"He's a patient at the hospital my dad works at. We... have a lot in common. He understands me... he's a good _friend_," Blaine tried to emphasize the word 'friend'.

David and Wes just stared at him for some time, a bit in shock.

"Wait, patient?" David finally said, sounding concerned, "what's he diagnosed with?"

"Well, I think it was bone cancer. I'm not really into the whole medical world, so I don't know, really, but I don't think it's that advanced. He says that they're just hoping for the best. He said he would fill me in today, actually."

"You're falling for a guy with bone cancer?" Wes said shocked, suddenly sounding worried, "Blainers, not a cool move, dude!"

"Wes, would you stop? I am not falling for the guy, okay! He gets me. His mom died, just like mine, I can talk to him without feeling like I'm being depressing and keeping him from being happy, or something,"

David frowned at that, and sounded more and more like the concerned friend that he actually was, "Blaine, you know you can talk to us, right?"

"I know, David, but he just... understands like you guys can't."

"So what's this guys name?" Wes asked, not with a smirk this time.

"Kurt. His name is Kurt," Blaine answered, and did absolutely not smile and blush slightly.

"And is this Kurt guy gay?" David asked sounding way too concerned for Blaine's opinion.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Blaine asked a bit annoyed.

"Blaine, seriously, don't give us the denial-attitude, please," David said, sending him a firm look.

"Oh, seriously, so now I can't have a gay friend without falling for him, seriously, guys? I thought I was better at choosing friends! I met him like three days ago, you're overreacting here!" Blaine exclaimed, tired of their concerned worried faces.

Neither David nor Wes seemed to buy that, apparently.

"Blainers, we know you, remember? We just want the best for you here, man! And falling in love with a patient – especially with bone cancer – I mean, it's not a good move. You can really get hurt! We just don't want you to go through all that again, you know?"

God, even Wes sounded like a shrink now, this wasn't good!

"God, do any of you speak English?" Blaine couldn't control his words anymore and almost yelled at his best friends, not really caring about the weird glances in their direction, "I. Do Not. Have. A. Crush. On. Kurt! Okay?!" Wes was just about to argue, but David stopped him before he said anything to piss Blaine really off. That was never pretty.

"Look, Blaine, we're just asking you to be careful. Don't... just… be careful!"

"Fine! I'll be _careful_," Blaine almost mocked, "but I'm not going to stop talking to him. I really like him, and if you guys are too narrow minded to see, that kids with cancer might actually be totally normal and have friends who don't treat them like they're some kind of ticking bomb, I feel sorry for you and your poor morals,"

Then he stood from his chair and walked away from his two best friends who just stood and gaped at him, none really perceiving what they had just witnessed.

Okay, so maybe Blaine had overreacted. They had tried to help, but honestly, he didn't need that. He wasn't falling for Kurt!

Well, not really, I mean it's not possible to fall in love with a person after like three days, right? No, Blaine had never believed in 'love at first sight' and he still didn't. Not even Kurt's magical, breathtaking ocean blue eyes could change his mind.

Because he knew very well, that he couldn't fall for Kurt. He simply couldn't. His friends really were right, no matter how much he hated to admit it, and falling for Kurt was absolutely not a good idea. He was just learning to deal with his mother's death, how the hell would he cope, if Kurt- but no. No, he couldn't even get himself to think about it. It would hurt too much …and it would definitely not get any better if he actually fell for Kurt, which really wasn't so impossible. Not at all, really, but he wouldn't allow it.

He swore he wouldn't fall for Kurt Hummel, no matter what his heart might have to say in that decision. He simply couldn't afford it.

When Blaine arrived to the hospital that day, he wasn't in a good mood. David and Wes' words still stung to his skull, and he was still a bit annoyed at them. How could they be so narrow-minded? He knew they were just looking out for him, but it still bothered him.

He tried to push the feeling away, and only think about talking to Kurt today. It actually helped.

He entered the little, dull hospital room, and saw Kurt sitting in his bed, once again reading in his book, Romeo & Juliet, which Blaine himself had read multiple times.

For a moment he just stood in the doorway, looking at the beautiful, porcelain-like boy in the bed. Blaine found himself wonder how the boy must have looked with hair.

He was kinda used to the boy being completely beautiful without it, but he still imagined it. He stopped himself quickly though. If he didn't want to fall for Kurt, he had to practice ignoring his beautiful appearance.

That was when Kurt turned his head slightly, and busted Blaine from the corner of his eyes.

A broad, beautiful smile spread across his face, and his eyes got their usual brighter ocean blue.

Then he saw the not-so-genuine smile on Blaine's lips and it faltered instantly. Blaine almost frowned at that, wanting the boy to smile his warming smile again, silently comparing it to the melancholy feeling of watching the leaves turn from its bright green to autumn-brown, and afterwards falling off the tree.

"What's up?" he asked, sounding a bit concerned.

Blaine chose playing dumb, hoping Kurt would go with it, "Nothing, really. Just life, I guess," he shrugged at his words, trying to sound casual.

"Blaine, seriously, what's wrong? I already kinda know you, somehow, so don't play dumb with me here," Kurt said sounding firm, but caring, with his, oh, so beautiful voice. Blaine still hadn't really got that a boy could actually have such a beautiful voice.

Then horror spread across Kurt's face as something obviously had hit him, confusing Blaine a bit.

"Oh god, I didn't embarrass myself too much yesterday, right? Please, I'm sorry, my meds have some kind of alcoholic affect on me, like, it's not even funny, just embarrassing!"

Blaine's eyes widened, and then an amused wry smile spread across his face, at the thought of drugged boy from yesterday, but when Kurt's face got slightly more horrified, Blaine put him out of his misery.

"No, of course not! You didn't do anything!" Blaine couldn't help but smile a bit. Kurt had said alcoholic effect, right? So that meant he was being embarrassingly honest?

"I'm just exhausted, I guess. Long day," he knew his answer was sort of dry, but really, he didn't want to talk about his stupid friends. He wouldn't hurt Kurt like that.

"I'm kinda mortified," Kurt said, covering his face in his hands, "please do me a favor next time, and just go when I get overly drugged. At least now I can control my head, but sometimes they give that stuff that makes my head too confused to keep my mind and mouth separated. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable,"

"Oh, no!" Blaine hurried to reassure him, "no it was fine. You actually almost, kinda made sense."

Kurt seemed like he couldn't help but laugh at that, and said, "Oh, really? Did I actually, almost, kinda make sense? Well, that's improvement, I guess."

Blaine chuckled, and shook his head, "I'm just saying I... get how you said you felt. You know, like we have only known one another for like, three days, but I feel like I've known you for so much longer. It sounds cliché, sure, but it's true."

Kurt nodded and smiled shyly, looking way too adorable for Blaine's mind to handle.

"Well, I'm still mortified, and I'm not one hundred percent sure of what the hell I said, but I remember saying that, and I'm glad I didn't scare you away. Like I said, I'm a bit rusty with the whole 'friend-thing'," Kurt said and send him grateful smile.

"Hey, don't worry about scaring me away!" Blaine said in a soft voice, going over to Kurt's bed and sat in the little chair closest to him, wanting so bad to take Kurt's hand again, but resisted, "I'm not going anywhere. I like talking to you too much. Non of my friends really get it, not quite like you anyway, and even though I can never really know how your situation feels like completely, I do sorta get you, y'know... so, well, actually it is me who kinda have to be scared that you'll want me to leave," Blaine smiled at his own logic, that obviously was extremely confusing for Kurt, cause he frowned and asked: "Why would I want you to leave? Right now you're the best – and only, but don't take the title in vain because of that – friend I have."

"Well, then I guess it's settled," Blaine said, and couldn't stop but smile at his new friend, "no one is leaving. Ever!"

Kurt smiled, but something told Blaine it wasn't that genuine. He sent Kurt a rather confused look, "What's up?" he asked sounding worried. Had he said anything? I thought they had just agreed they couldn't scare each other away.

Kurt just looked at Blaine for a second, face expression unreadable.

"I just... Blaine, I don't know if 'ever' is that… long. I just... this is just so selfish of me," he whispered, and looked apologetic at Blaine, "I don't want you to grow to fond of me, if..."

But Blaine took his hand, and interrupted the rambling boy, "Kurt, please don't worry about me. I'll be fine, and you'll be fine. For now, anyway. I don't want to think about it, and really it's too late. I got myself into this, and I will take whatever consequences life will be throwing at me,"

Kurt looked pleading at him, and shook his head, "I'm so sorry, Blaine! It was stupid of me! God, see! These drugs are making me stupid! I used to be smart, you know!"

"Kurt, you still are, stop it!" Blaine said, as the boy tried to take his hand from Blaine's and hide his face in it.

"You still are smart, okay. I can see it when I talk to you! And you are not selfish! You're you, and even though I've known you for about three days, I can see that you're worth whatever I have to go through. Okay! So don't you dare shutting me out, and please tell me what it is we're worrying about here. You know, all I know is that you have bone cancer. I didn't even get what kind, or anything."

Kurt looked at him, visibly relaxing at the boy's words, and looked down at their hands.

Blaine noticed and made a move to remove it, "Oh, I'm sorry, " he said, "I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable, I jus-" But Kurt ignored him at stopped him from removing his hand, taking it in his.

"I like it," Kurt whispered, and smiled slightly. Blaine ignored the warmth that slowly spread in his body, at the boy's words.

"So, I guess you're right. I kinda owe you an explanation.

Well, it started about three months ago. I was at glee practice, and I just… remember every little detail of that day. Everything except the pain I felt in my foot, cause I apparently did, according to the doctors. Well, maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm not that sensitive with pain, I guess, but it's just so weird. Like, I remember what homework I had on my mind, how I constantly was worried that my hair would be ruined, 'cause I'd run out hairspray, superficial stuff like that, but never my foot.

Anyway, at glee practice I fell, and twisted my foot bad, and well, that hurt like hell. Like, you wouldn't believe.

The pain was confusing, really. When I was little I'd fell on my bike and sprained an ankle but the pain was nothing compared to that. I was frustrated, cause I'd always seen myself as strong, when it came to physical pain, but suddenly I felt so weak. I wondered if the foot maybe was broken, but even then it would never hurt like that.

When we got to the hospital, the answers came pretty quickly though. Or... well, we had to wait multiple hours, at afterwards do and MR-scanning, but relatively fast.

The doctors found out that it was much more than a broken foot, and just like that, I had Osteosarcoma.

Suddenly I had to go into surgery and when it failed and they couldn't get all of the tumor out, they simply said I had to have chemo and radiotherapy, until it had shrunk enough to take it out safely, or something.

I... I don't want to have that much to do with this, really. It's not that I try to pretend this isn't happening, but it just gets so much scarier when I hear details, so I leave that to my dad. I don't want to understand. Not yet.

Well, I did it, scared, overwhelmed in complete shock, of course, but I did it. I lost my hair without showing one tear to my dad, even though – as superficial as this sounds – I was pretty much the hardest thing to loose. Well, not really, but almost... I just... I suddenly felt so sick. Contagious and disgusting… Ugly. I never thought my hair would mean so much to me, but apparently it did. I don't even know how I manage to be with you, and not feel extremely self-conscious," at that Blaine squeezed his hand, making Kurt know that there was no need to be. He obviously got the message, because he smiled, and blushed at bit, as he continued, "anyway, when the therapy was over, I went into surgery again, and yet again, it failed. The doctors said it was too risky for my health, for some reason. So now they can't do anything but wait, again.

I used to be home, but it hurt too much, and the doctors says it's safest for me to be here. It's stupid, really. Sometimes I just wanna go home, you know, but I can't. My father won't hear about going home, either. After my mom… well, he's just so very sensitive about me. Actually, now that I think about it, it could easily be him that somehow begged the doctors to let me stay here, hoping it could help me. I just think that it does the complete opposite, though… but really I can't blame him. I think… no I _know_ that I could live at home, with a great amount of painkillers and medicine and stuff, like any other kid with cancer, but I can't let dad stress like that… not with his fragile heart… it's just… I don't feel like I belong here. I know there're so many kids out there in a much worse condition than me. The only thing I have to do is wait, wait, till the chemo will work and it's safe for them to operate, again, wait till they fail, wait 'till I die, really," at that Blaine fought the tears in his eyes, and squeezed hand again.

"Don't say that, Kurt! Don't. What do your odds say, anyway?"

Kurt shrugged and looked down at their entwined hands.

"50/50, I guess. No one knows if the chemo and radiation will work this time. I just hate this, Blaine. I hate being drugged so that I can't feel the pain. I hate being alone. I hate feeling unwanted, like a ticking bomb. I just… my friends left me, for gods sake," and that was when the tears spilled, "I could see it in their eyes when they looked at me. See how they hurt, how they weren't really strong enough to look at me and know that I may die. They love me, and no matter what they did, I will still love them, somehow, but I just... it hurts, Blaine.

I mean, I actually almost wanted it, you know," he suddenly couldn't control his tears anymore, and his voice started trembling as he continued, "I know it's for their own best that they don't come v-visit me. I ca-can't die knowing that-that I caused them p-pain, but it... it still hurts... it sucks! And n-now that you are here, Blaine, I-I already like you more than good is. I don't want us to get too close and then h-hurt you i-i-if..."

But he didn't get to say anymore, cause without thinking Blaine moved closer and pulled the boy into a soft, but tight embrace, rocking him slowly, comforting the other boy, trying not to cry with him.

He stood in a bit of an awkward, uncomfortable position, leaning in over the hospital bed, but honestly he didn't care. Kurt was so warm against him, as he, after stiffening in shock after the sudden movement, hid his face in the crook of Blaine's neck.

Warm tears streamed in a steady stream down his cheeks, and his hands clutched Blaine's shirt in his hands, as if trying to hold on onto the comfort that Blaine gave him.

He was so soft, even when his sobs made his body shake, and, god, that smell. That smell Blaine had smelled the second day they met, that confused him a bit, cause, seriously, who the hell could smell so damn good when they were in a hospital? Weren't they supposed to smell like awfully clean? But Kurt just didn't. The scent of vanilla and strawberries attacked his nostrils again, and he absentmindedly breathed in deeply.

Blaine just stroked the back of the boy's soft head, whispering soothing noises in his ears.

"It's okay, Kurt," he said, not knowing what else to say, "everything is gonna be fine!" he didn't know if that was true, but right know he just wanted the boy in his arms to be save and happy.

After a while Kurt slowly relaxed in his arms, but first when his sobs turned into quiet sniffles, Blaine let go, though still holding him in a loose embrace, not caring that he still was in a pretty awkward position.

Kurt's silent sniffles could still be heard, as the boy still clutched Blaine's shirt in his hand, and said in a silent voice, "It isn't, Blaine. It's not okay."

Blaine couldn't say anything. He just sat there, half leaned in over the hospital bed with the boy he suddenly cared about a million times more, in his arms. He let his thumb brush along the boy's arm, feeling him relax under the touch.

"I don't care, Kurt. I'm not your friends, I would never let you down, 'kay?"

When Kurt nodded, Blaine let one of his arms fall to his side, so that he could sit more comfortable on his chair, still with one arm around Kurt, caressing his arm. It felt weirdly natural.

He felt his heart race when the boy laid his head on his shoulder and sighed.

"I am selfish, though."

"You're not-"

"Let me finish, please," he begged, and because of that hint of pleading in his voice, Blaine instantly shut up, unable to do anything else, "I'm selfish, when I say this, but I don't want you to leave. I don't wanna lose my friend, before I even got the chance to enjoy having one. I just... I can't die knowing that I hurt you so much. I can't live knowing that I can bring you even more pain than you're already in, so you have to promise me you can take it, Blaine. I know the chances for me dying could be much worse, I know that, trust me, but there's a chance, and I can't take the pressure if it happens, and you black out again. Please tell me you'll get over it, if I die, please, say it, so that I don't have to ask you to leave," his voice didn't tremble as much this time. It sounded firm and determined, and when he then looked Blaine in the eyes, and cyan met amber, he had to lie. It would hurt more than he would ever admit if Kurt died, but he had to see him. He would take the consequences. Kurt was worth it.

He nodded and sunk, "I promise, Kurt, but you won't die. You'll fight this. For your father and for Carole... and me."

Kurt breathed in deeply and nodded, "I will fight this, Blaine, and maybe I'm stupid – god, who am I kidding, I'm the stupidest person alive right now – and, well so are you, but I don't want you to go. I want to have a friend,"

"Yeah, we are stupid and kinda naïve. But you're incredibly drugged, and well, I'm me, so, can't do anything about it, huh?"

Kurt let out an adorable sound, between a snort and laugh, and nodded, but didn't say anything. They just sat like that for a few minutes, in comfortable silence. Blaine had still his arm around Kurt, but the boy didn't protest, and neither did he. Actually, he liked it.

"Why is it we always end up crying when we're together?" Kurt then said after some time, making Blaine let out an "hmpf" sound, asking the same question.

"Guess we have a lot to get out, that no one gets quite like us," he then said, shrugging lightly so that Kurt didn't remove his head from his shoulder.

"Yeah, I like to think that. But I don't want anymore crying," Kurt said sounding determined and sat up straight, making Blaine's arm fall, "tell me something fun, please …Or no, just anything on your mind. What's happening on your school?"

Blaine laughed at the intriguing boy's sudden enthusiasm.

"Well, er, The Warblers are getting ready for regional's in March. We are all very excited. I will actually sing lead," Blaine smiled, glad that they were over the sentimental stuff, and just talk to Kurt as a normal friend.

Kurt apparently found it extremely interesting, "Wait, seriously, regionals? Oh my god, then you maybe have to compete against the New Directions! That's exciting. See! You have an interesting life, Blaine. I'm sure you must sing like a dream, then."

Blaine just chuckled at the other boy's excitement, and shook his head, "Well, I don't know really, I don't think I sing better than Nick or maybe Wes, but they call me 'the charmer'. Their words, not mine! Anyway, I will sing lead, and this guy Sebastian hates me for it. He's kind of a jerk, no one really likes him, but he's pretty good at singing and dancing. And about the New Directions, we actually don't know yet. We get our competition list in about a week, I guess. It could be kinda fun, though," he shrugged and smiled, "I don't know how I would feel about them, though. I don't have the nicest pictures of them in my head, really," he added, and thought about how they had all abandoned Kurt when he needed them the most.

"They're great, I promise!" Kurt said, luckily not seeming sad again, "maybe just not as strong as you," at that Blaine smiled crookedly, "but I'm beginning to get a bit curious now. I want to see you perform. See if you're as modest as you seem to be. And I know all about those types. Everyone – except maybe my brother that for some reason chose to be with her – really dislike Rachel, but god can she sing."

At that Blaine laughed.

"Yeah, well, sometimes the most amazing talents come with the most annoying personalities,"

"Urgh, you're so right Blaine Anderson, one day when Rachel..."

And like that it went for hours, just talking and laughing, and getting to know each other, not one moment with uncomfortable subjects or awkward silences. And with every minute that passed, Blaine grew to like the bald boy, with the cyan eyes, more and more. He got him. Like no one did, really. He had thought that Wes and David was the best friend he could ever have, but one look at Kurt, and he knew he'd been wrong all along.

Every time Blaine cracked a joke, Kurt would laugh and shake his head, if the joke was really bad. When Blaine talked about the stuff that he liked, Kurt would most of the time agree – "Where have you been all my life, Blaine? I never thought I would ever find a boy who actually knew Patti Lupone, never mind like her!" – and some times he would say that he simply couldn't be his friends because of it – "The Simpsons, Blaine, seriously! God, you just ruined our friendship there. It is the most horrible show ever invented!"

And like that they had so much in common, but still so many differences. Blaine didn't even know he had so many qualities and opinions, before Kurt showed up – "yeah, well, you know, if you are raised with the words 'gay is wrong' like normal people are raised with 'stealing is wrong' then, I guess, it isn't completely their own fault, right? I mean it doesn't completely make a person a bad person just because he or she gets learned from childhood that something is not right. What makes a person bad is if you can't try to change your mind when you get older, and teach your kids that it's wrong, right? So I don't really like hating people for not accepting me, I just try to avoid them, you know?"

And to that Kurt would answer, "I so admire you, Blaine Anderson. I don't know, I guess I've just been through so much hell that I just… I can't think like that. I can see where you're going, but people who can't see, that love is for freaking sake love, no matter what are, according to me, extremely narrow minded, stupid and just ignorant."

Kurt made Blaine think. They could sit and discuss the same thing for hours and still never get tired of one another, and somehow, they found new subjects all the time.

Actually they would have been going on for hours, but the hospital – which both Blaine and surprisingly Kurt had forgotten all about – wouldn't allow it.

Nurses came and went, checking on Kurt's leg, informing him about a new ex-ray they would have to take to get updated – Kurt calmed Blaine down by saying it was nothing he wasn't used to – and take his blood pressure and stuff, and sometimes they would send them disapproving looks.

But when Blaine's dad of course had to be the inevitable buzz kill, Blaine had no choice but leave, knowing that his dad and him would have a talk, that Blaine wasn't that much up for at the moment. He had had enough of people, being worried about his and Kurt's buttering friendship, as if Kurt was nothing but a dying dog.

"Well, it seems like I have to go," Blaine said as he stood from his chair, feeling his muscles ache from the sudden movement, after hours of sitting. He sent his father, who stood in the doorway, a rather annoyed look before turning to a visibly less cheerful Kurt again, "I take you have a phone?" he asked, hope clear in his voice, not wanting to say goodbye.

Kurt just grinned, and nodded, "Yeah, I just have to, you know, find it, and charge it and stuff,"

That made Blaine chuckle and nod, "Okay, well, here's my number," he quickly took his satchel and found a piece of paper and a pen, and scribbled down his number, hurrying, but making sure you could see through his sloppy handwriting, writing a small note to Kurt. He couldn't hold back a smirk when he wrote "Call me maybe? ;-)" thinking about their discussion about just how horrible that song was.

"I expect a text, Hummel."

At that Kurt just laughed and waved his hand at the eager boy in front of him, after gladly accepting the little piece of paper, "I'll see what I can do. Now go before I fall asleep again. I just remembered how tired these cra…-drugs make me," one glance at Dr. Anderson and he quickly changed his choice of words. He didn't rally seem to notice, though, still staring intensely at Blaine. Kurt wasn't quite sure if that look meant trouble, or if it just was pure curiosity. He really hoped the latter was the case.

Blaine laughed unaffected, still in a god mood after talking to Kurt. He really had to resist the urge to kiss him right there, before he left. _Not an option, Anderson!_ He thought as he left with one last wave and smile at the sick, but somehow still so beautiful, boy.

Blaine followed his dad outside, waiting for his dad to interrogate him, but James Anderson just kept walking, taking the stairs down the four floors, apparently expecting Blaine to follow, because he didn't look back.

Blaine hadn't told his dad he would come today, so they were each in their own, expensive cars on the ride home, James still in front of Blaine, expecting him to follow, though never even glancing his way, through the rearview mirror.

When Blaine arrived home to their way too big, white, cold house, his dad had already gone inside. Blaine followed his example. He entered the house, hung up his jacket and shoes in the big entry hall, and walked into their massive kitchen, which were connected with the dining room.

His dad sat in the loveseat, probably waiting for Blaine. Blaine just walked up to the kitchen sink – he had to go several meters to reach it – and reached for a glass in the cupboard, slowly filling it up with water. He really didn't want this talk. Maybe he could just walk to his room. He gave up that idea, though, when he saw his dad's face, looking stern and expecting.

He sighed and walked up to the sofa, which were facing the huge TV, and sat down, while taking a sip of his water.

There were a couple of seconds of tense silence, before his dad started talking.

"Are you gonna tell me what that was all about, Blaine?" his voice sounded as firm as he looked.

Blaine just sighed again, and shrugged.

"I don't know what the big deal is, Dad, Kurt is just really nice. I like him. He really... he understands," Blaine said trying to look and sound casual, pretty much succeeding.

"What do you mean 'understands'?" James' voice still sounded suspicious.

"He... his mom died when he was little," Blaine said, praying that James wouldn't freak out at his words.

James didn't answer, though; he just looked blankly at Blaine for a few seconds.

"Look, Dad, he's cool. I've never talked to someone so easily, and I know that you might say that he could be trouble, but honestly, I don't care. He doesn't seem that sick, and the chances for him surviving are pretty high, right, so, I don't see the big deal."

"Blaine," James' voice sounded uncertain, "we don't really know what his chances are. The cancer can suddenly spread, you know, and then there's nothing we can do. He could be a ticking bomb. I'm sure he's a great kid, but honestly, I don't think he's worth hurting over. Not after all of this with... with your mom. You cannot fall in love with one of my patients, you know the outcome of that."

Blaine was kinda shocked by his father's words, so gentle, as if he was just scared that Blaine would get hurt, but he was still annoyed. How could his father know if Kurt was worth it? Besides, he wasn't falling for him! Why did everyone just assume that?

"Dad, I am not falling for him! It's just… it's been long since I've actually talked to someone like I talk with him. It is strange, I know, but I am not falling for him. I can't be, right, I've only known him for a couple of days," he added the last part without thinking, which was pretty stupid, since his dad didn't look that convinced.

"I don't know, Blaine. You have been weirdly happy these last three days, not like with David and Wes or Jeff or the other guys. We can't have another crisis in our family, Blaine, you have to be careful with this kid," James said, once again surprising Blaine again. He had thought for so long that his dad was still this monotone working machine, still hurting too much to actually resurface from his black hole, like Blaine had been, but it appeared that he actually wasn't. Suddenly, James cared for Blaine again, for his happiness, and he felt the warmth of the thought, that he actually was cared for, overwhelm him. He couldn't help but smile just a little bit. Maybe his dad was much better, than he expected. Maybe he was okay with Blaine being gay after all. He didn't seem disgusted by the thought of him falling for Kurt; no he just seemed worried.

"I know Dad, and I'm grateful that you care, I really am, but if you want me to be happy, let me be friends with him. That's what mom would've said, I'm sure. Don't worry about me. For once, I think I know what's best for myself," Blaine said, biting his lip, as he thought about the beautiful, but sick boy that he had grown to like so much in the past couple of days.

His dad just nodded and clapped Blaine's shoulder, as he stood from the white loveseat.

"It's fine, Blaine, just don't fool yourself, would you? Don't be naïve and ignore the possibilities. You are right, I think he can survive this, but still, be careful."

Blaine nodded and watched his dad walk away, still slightly in shock. His dad was indeed bad at showing emotions – actually you never really knew how he felt – but he did care inside, Blaine was sure, and something inside of Blaine, told him it was because of his mother. It would always be about Amanda when it came to James Anderson… Maybe there was something called soulmates, after all.

At about 10pm Blaine lay in his bed in his little, rectangular room. Actually his room where the only place in his house, that felt like home. He had decorated it himself when he was younger with his mom, when he had moved his room to the old craft room that they never used anyway. Together they had picked out his large bed and white-and-red-checkered sheets that for some reason meant so much to him.

His furniture was pretty much the same all around. The same dark wood and old fashioned design, mostly because little Blaine had absolutely no sense of stile and just wanted the room to look all mysterious and dark, like he had read in the cartoons about Luke Skywalker and Batman. His mom didn't argue, and though she refused to get him a spaceship bed or let him paint the room all black, like a bats cave, she got him dark furniture, knowing that at some point Blaine would renew it.

He just never did. He couldn't bear changing his room, that his mother had helped him decorate, even though he kind of hated it at fifteen. That would be like trashing the last memories of her away.

That and when he went to Dalton, he wasn't home that much. Right after his mom died almost never. Now, he actually kinda enjoyed coming home at weekends and in the meantime he grew to love his little, dark room again.

On top of the dresser that was containing all his normal clothes he wore in the weekends or when he was home – he always wore his Dalton blazer, too lazy to change – was now filled with different trophies and medals from some singing or music competitions and a few for soccer, too.

On another he had a whole lot of small trinkets and souvenirs, each with a different meaning and value for Blaine. He still had the 'West side story' tickets from the show in New York, and those were pretty much his most precious things in his room, including his beloved guitar. He had other things too, for example a little Eiffel tower from when Amanda, James and Blaine had been in Paris, and a little, rose-colored stone formed as a heart, not much bigger than his thumb, with the words 'I love you ' imprinted, which his mom had given him when he was little, with the note that "When you found your one and only, your soulmate, you shall give it to the him or her." Blaine didn't even notice how Amanda said 'him or her' instead of just 'her' back then.

On his nightstand he had a few pictures of him and his mom and dad, one from the trip to Paris and a few from in the park. One was Blaine standing on a stage for the first time, at the age of six, to his first singing competition – a very precious memory of his, too.

He loved how his room was neat and in order – he was Blaine after all – but still it managed to remain cozy and personal, unlike the rest of the house. Blaine's room pretty much summed him up and that was one of the reasons he loved it so much.

Even his TV meant something to him, as it reminded him when Wes, David, Jeff, Nick and Blaine had spent the entire night staring into the little screen playing Call of Duty – for some reason they had chosen Blaine's little crappy TV over Wes' huge one – and the next day they pretty much weren't able to open their eyes.

Blaine stared at his phone not really knowing why he wanted Kurt to call him so much. One thing he knew, he already missed the sound of the beautiful voice, always sounding light and cheerful like he sang every note instead of just saying them, and it reminded him of honey in his ears. It reminded him slightly of his mother's voice, actually. What wouldn't Blaine give to hear him sing?

He was so much in his own world that he almost jumped, when he heard his phone make a sound that indicated he had gotten a message.

Way to fast he picked it up from beside him on the bed, almost dropping it in the gesture, and checked the text. He couldn't help but smile widely, when he read it.

**[10.27 PM]  
>So, I found my phone! It was somewhere under my bed or whatever, and God, I just realized I haven't used this thing in ages… so excuse my typos, would ya? Well, hi! It's Kurt btw… you said you expected a text, so here you go! ;) <strong>

He hurried and answered the boy without hesitating.

[10.28 PM]  
><em>Hey, you! Is it weird that I found myself waiting for you to text me? Oh, so that's the only reason you texted me? Now I'm sad! :'( <em>

**[10.29 PM]  
>Dork. <strong>

_[10.31 PM]  
>So what are you doing? Anything interesting? <em>

**[10.35 PM]  
>Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen. Blaine, the most interesting part of my day was Romeo dying. Well, beside your visit, obviously… tell me of your day instead. Your dad seemed kinda tense when he saw us. Did he give you a hard time, or anything? <strong>

_[10.36 PM]  
>No, actually. I mean, I thought he would be mad at me for getting involved with his patient, but he really just got worried for me… it shocked me, really. My dad is so unpredictable, sometimes. Anyway, I told him he had NOTHING to worry about and that I just wanted to be your friend… he understood, I think. <em>

He didn't think he needed to mention the whole 'falling in love' that everybody apparently assumed, all of sudden.

**[10.40 PM]  
>I'm glad! I was pretty worried, actually. Well, he has his reasons, I guess. Just… remember what you promised, please? <strong>

_[10.40 PM]  
>I do. Promise. <em>

**[10.42 PM]  
>Thanks. I wanted to say thank you for today too! I really had a lot of fun! Despite the crying :D <strong>

_[10.43 PM]  
>No need to thank me, I enjoyed myself too! I actually kinda liked the crying.. to get it out, y'know. I'm weird, I know<em>

**[10.44 PM]**

**It's not weird **

Blaine surged in a breath of air, not really knowing why he felt a rush in his stomach. He smiled, for a moment forgetting he actually had to answer, and just looked at the text for a while.

Before he could get the chance to, though, another message from Kurt came in.

**[10.50]  
>Eh, I'm sorry I have to go. I have this x-ray to take care of tomorrow, and the doctors say I need to sleep... Kinda excited actually! You know, maybe they'll soon think that I could get out of this place! If they could keep it under control… I just hope my dad will try to accept it… anyway see you soon? x<strong>

Blaine's look lingered maybe for a bit longer than necessary at the little x.

_[10.52 PM]  
>Oh, really? Kurt that's big! Oh, and sorry for keeping you up, I didn't think about it…<br>I'll try to be there as soon as I can. Maybe tomorrow or Sunday, and then I can hear about it! Good luck! x _

Blaine took a few minutes trying to gather his thoughts, as he stared at his screen. Could it be a possibility? Did Kurt actually have a chance to get out of that place? Well, it did seem a bit odd, that he just had to wait in there, but still, would he be safe? Could he have a normal life, like he said he knew he could with painkillers and medicine of course? Would Mr. Hummel allow it?

Maybe school was too much for him. Kurt had told Blaine about his school, and well, at least Blaine wouldn't allow Kurt to go back to that place, but maybe he could show Kurt around at Dalton or something. Could they maybe be friends outside that hospital? But then again, why did Blaine care so much? He had known the guy for what, three days. Still… it felt like so much more… he really did care for Kurt, maybe a bit more than he was willing to admit to himself, and Kurt seemed to reciprocate the feeling, so yeah, Blaine was pretty sure they would still be friends. For some peculiar reason, Blaine felt his shoulders, that he hadn't noticed were tense, relax.

…

Much to his chagrin Kurt found out he couldn't get out of the hospital yet the next day. It wasn't like he hadn't seen it coming, but a boy could hope, right? It just still felt wrong for him. After every x-ray, his dad would talk to the doctors, and later they would come out and announce that he had to stay 'a few weeks more'. Kurt wasn't stupid, he knew his father somehow managed to convince the doctors that he could stay, and he wished that he could just get mad at his father, but something inside of him, kept him from it.

Every time he got the announcement that he had to stay, he felt the anger boil inside him, and all he wanted was to yell at his dad and tell him not to rule his life, but then when he looked at him, always in the corner of the room looking down at his shoes looking guilty, but also so very sad. That sight alone made all of Kurt's anger vanish, and he felt the urge to hug his dad tight, and apologize over and over again for putting him in the misery all over again, and he immediately understood his dad's actions. He knew that his dad only wanted the best for him, and just wanted to protect him.

Elizabeth had been a free soul. She refused to stay at the hospital, she had lived her last years with her family, and never ever seemed to regret it, but Burt, who had loved his wife more than everything in this whole world, had been so devastated. Kurt understood why he was so sensitive about the whole thing. He had lost so much already and losing Kurt would break him. The least thing Kurt could do was to do it his father's way.

He still had hoped, though. Before not getting out of the hospital wasn't that much of a big deal. He hated school, and the only thing he missed was Glee and his friends, who really had left him. Well not like that, but still. And really, he couldn't come back to school he was sure, so the life he would have then was pretty much the same as the one he had at the hospital.

But now, he had met Blaine. Sure, he had only known the guy for a few days, but he really seemed like the two of them could get really close, really soon, and Kurt wanted that. Just the thought of being out of this hospital and get to be with Blaine made him giddy. And the way Blaine had actually seemed eager to get Kurt out of there… Kurt could have a friend. Maybe… well, if things had been different it wasn't impossible for Kurt to think as Blaine as… But Kurt couldn't afford to think that, he always had to remind himself. He couldn't come out of the hospital, and he wouldn't. He wouldn't do that to his dad, end of story.


	5. Chapter 5

**Porcelain and Warm Honey**

**A/N **

**Hi again! It's been forever, I know... School is just.. ugh! Anyway, again thank you for acknowledging this story, I really appreciate it!  
>Sorry for mistakes and enjoy! :D <strong>

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything **

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 5<span>

In the following weeks things suddenly changed for Kurt. Suddenly he had a friend. Suddenly he had someone who would randomly come over, sometimes just to chat and other times to talk about a particularly bad or good day. Suddenly he had someone who would just write or even call, claiming he was bored.

One day, after Blaine had listened to Kurt describing just how gross the hospital food was – eventually he found out that Blaine really wasn't sensitive about his father's job, so it was okay to complain now and then – and the next day he would show up with a pack of sandwiches right before lunch, and together they ate as secretly as possible, knowing it wasn't really allowed. But Blaine didn't care. He just cared for Kurt.

He would listen to even the smallest, indifferent things, and laugh or give advice or just look at him with those hazel eyes, that told him he really was being heard.

He wouldn't, like others, wince or turn away when Kurt suddenly felt bad, or even throw up; he would just take his hand, or rub circles on his back and smile a bit sad smile that said so much more than words.

Sometimes, if Kurt had a particularly bad day and was paler than usual, he would just sit at Kurt's bedside most of the time holding his hand. Even days that Kurt was too tired to anything but stare out the window – or at Blaine – he would sometimes just talk himself, and Kurt's small nods and smiles would be enough for him. He would even sometimes be there when Kurt woke up, reading or doing his homework. All he said when Kurt asked why he said that he felt calm in here, so he could concentrate better. He asked several times – as the dapper, gentleman he was – if he should leave or Kurt needed time alone, but Kurt never wanted him to leave. Even if he felt terrible, Blaine always made it better somehow. Blaine quickly became the best friend he had ever had. He became his rock.

It all felt so very strange. New. But still, Kurt found himself happier than ever. He would actually wake up in the morning smiling, remembering that Blaine would come over today.

Suddenly Kurt found himself wanting to survive this thing more than everything in this world.

Suddenly Kurt wanted more and more to come out to the real world, cause now he knew he would have a friend to come out to.

But that subject was still a sensitive spot…

Kurt heard the familiar knock on the door, and found himself smiling before he could even make out the person standing there already knowing who it was from that three time-knock.

And just as predicted, Blaine was standing in the doorway, handsome as ever, still in the same way as the first time he had come visited Kurt, which now seemed so long ago.

This time, though, Kurt was prepared for the boy's ridiculously hot appearance, and held his mind in control, just rolling his eyes at the boy.

"Honestly, Blaine? I know you go to that prep school of yours, but do you really have to knock by now? Just come in!"

Blaine just smiled and sat down as usual in his chair – yes, it was _his_ chair, deal with it – and sent him a knowing smile.

"Bad day?"

Kurt just shrugged, "Nah, just… you know…"

"Tired?"

"Yeah… as always," Kurt looked down. The feeling had been bothering him lately. He didn't want to feel tired anymore. He wanted to get out and live a little. With Blaine.

Blaine noticed. Of course he did. His smile got softer and yet again his eyes looked like they were actually liquid.

"This has been bothering you for a while hasn't it?" he asked.

Kurt looked into the now so familiar amber eyes, and felt the safety in there. Blaine could somehow read him better than any of his friends ever had – not that there were so many to pick from.

Kurt just looked away and shrugged, "I guess… it's just that, Blaine, I'm tired of being tired! Before, I really didn't care that much, 'cause really, even if I got out, there wouldn't much of a life for me without school. I don't know if my friends really would've been there for me. But now… I guess I'm just realizing what I'm missing out on now. Maybe I could be your friend outside this hospital."

Blaine just hesitated and looked down.

Kurt of course, assumed the worst immediately, "I mean, that is if you want to, of course. You wouldn't have to be my friend-"

"Kurt that was not was I was going to say, you know that," Blaine interrupted, rolling his eyes, "I just… get it. I want you out of here too, you know."

At that Kurt smiled a bit, "Really?"

"Yeah… I just… Kurt, I know how you feel about your father and all that, but he really can't control your life like this. I know he only wants the best for you, but…" he sighed and looked at Kurt in a way that finished the sentence for him.

"Yeah, I know, I just… this is why I haven't brought it up. This is just something, you for once don't understand, Blaine, you weren't there. I just can't do it to him, okay?"

Kurt knew his words were harsher than they should be, but it was how things were. No matter how much he wanted otherwise, he had to stay at the hospital.

Blaine just looked at him and took his hand – something that had become very naturally for them – not saying anything. He got that far away look in his eyes, he always got, when he was thinking.

"I'm sorry," Kurt finally said, "I shouldn't had brought it up. Just tell me about your day please? Humor me with your weirdo friends…"

Blaine just looked at him for a few seconds more, his eyes still a bit distant, but he soon resurfaced.

"Right… well, okay, then, well, we got our competition list for regional's in March today! Looks like we're not facing the New Directions, but if we both win at regionals we are gonna compete in New York for Nationals!" Blaine said sounding excited.

Kurt would've found that adorable, but right now he was a bit in shock, as he remembered the trip to New York. How could he have forgotten? It was only the one thing he had been looking forward to the most in the start of the school year…

"Oh… yeah," he gulped, "New York! I forgot about that…"

If Blaine noticed the tension in his voice, he didn't show it, too excited Kurt guessed. It was unlike Blaine to overlook something like that though, especially since he was very much aware, that Kurt dreamed of living in New York, when he grew up…

"Yeah, well, we have to win first of course, but – not to brag – I think we have a pretty good shot at that, so, yeah…"

Kurt nodded at shrugged the feeling away. Just because he didn't get to go didn't mean he couldn't be happy for Blaine.

"It could be amazing! I'm happy for you, Blaine," he said dryly, his voice not that convincing.

Blaine now noticed Kurt's uneasiness and shifted uncomfortably in his chair, "Well… maybe- I mean… maybe you could come with us. I mean, maybe you're better then, and well it's just for a few days right, so… it's not impossible. There would be people to look after you and hospitals and everything, right?"

"Yeah" Kurt lied, not wanting to me a mood killer even more today, "maybe…"

When his voice didn't sound convinced Blaine quickly changed subject, "So, I actually got you something," he said voice cheerful again.

Kurt lit up bad feelings gone, knowing that Blaine always came with good gifts. Blaine smiled a bit at him before he duck down in his brown satchel he always had with him and found a worn book and something that looked like a thick Tablet.

"I've noticed you always read the same book when I come. Romeo and Juliet, right? So, when you mentioned Wuthering Heights and said you haven't read it – remember my horror? – I instantly knew I had to borrow you it. Be careful, please, it's old and precious to me! My mother gave it to me on my 13th birthday. It has been my grandma's. Here," he gave a dumbstruck Kurt the book and smiled at the boys obvious shocked reaction.

"Blaine! That's so sweet! Thank you so much, I swear I'll take good care of it! Thank you!" Kurt spluttered, touched by the amazing guy in front of him. He took the book carefully and held it with protective arms.

Blaine just laughed at the gesture and before Kurt got to hug him and say thanks, he quickly said, "Wait with the crying and hugging, there's more!"

At that Kurt laughed, already with blank eyes. He was always so touched, when Blaine did something like this for him. It showed him that Blaine really did care.

"Okay, so I got you this, since you complained about that crappy TV of yours that can't play DVD's and has like two channels."

He held the thick Tablet in front of Kurt, "It's a DVD-player. I got you a few movies, too. I can come with more tomorrow if these don't interest you, but I think it will keep you occupied until tomorrow."

Kurt stared at the DVD in his hands in disbelief. He could already feel his tears fighting to spill over. He flipped through the little stack: Sound of Music, West Side Story, Romeo and Juliet, Wuthering Heights and a few Disney movies. Kurt smiled at the Disney movies remembering Blaine and his conversation about how Disney movies never got old.

"I figured you wanted Romeo and Juliet in there, but I totally understand if you can't tolerate the story after reading it, what, a million times now? And don't you dare seeing Wuthering Heights before you have read it. Also the Disney movies were just some I had at home. I don't really have the time at home, so, I figured you could have them," Blaine sounded excited, always so happy for helping others.

Kurt couldn't get himself to say anything. He just shook his head in disbelief and smiled. Just like when Blaine had come with those sandwiches, Kurt got extremely emotional. And just when Kurt thought Blaine was done he fished something else up from the satchel.

"And, eh, I got you this too," he said and held up something that looked like a notebook, "I know you said you used to draw outfits and stuff, but you stopped since it became dull and reminded you of the future you could never have. But, I don't want you to give up on your dreams, Kurt. You _can _have it, if you want to. I believe that you can go to New York, and be the designer or Broadway star you always dreamed of becoming. Now I haven't seen you perform or anything, though I assume you're amazing, but I _have_ seen some of your sketches, and Kurt, you're… amazing!" he breathed out and looked at Kurt, his eyes so sincere and warm and smiled crookedly, though way too adorable to handle, "now I'm done, you can thank me."

Kurt just stared though, tears trapped in his eyes by his willpower, though it didn't last long. How could Blaine be real? How had Kurt got so lucky to find a friend who actually believed in him and cared for him like Blaine?

"Kurt?" Blaine sounded a bit worried now, since Kurt's eyes just flickered from the DVD's to the books, and last, the sketchbook his look in almost shock and disbelief, "Kurt, I-"

Kurt interrupted Blaine by throwing himself at him in a bone-crushing hug holding him tight and cried a little into the collar of his button down. He could smell Blaine's irresistible scent, attacking his nostrils, almost making him dizzy. It was a perfect mix between what he guessed was Blaine's own scent, so lovely and sweet, reminding him of cinnamon and something he couldn't quite decipher and his refreshing cologne.

"Thank you! Thank you so, so much," he whispered into the crook of Blaine's neck.

"So you'll use it? The sketchbook?" he muttered against Kurt's soft, chestnut hair that had grown after a few weeks without chemo.

"Of course I will!"

He could feel Blaine's wide smile against the top of his head as he sat in the chair holding him in a rather awkward position. That was one of the many annoying things with Kurt always sitting in his bed. He could never hug or hold Blaine without being in an awkward or uncomfortable position.

But right now he didn't care. Right now all he wanted was to tell Blaine how much he appreciated him and how much he… well, loved the boy… he was his best friend after all.

"You really are my best friend, Blaine! This means so much to me!" he still couldn't believe the boy was real. He didn't think Blaine really knew how much Kurt would do for him.

Blaine kissed the top of his head before letting go of Kurt, so that he could look him in the eyes.

"This was nothing, Kurt! I'm just happy when you're happy," he smiled softly and Kurt shook his head in disbelief.

"How are you real?"

At that Blaine laughed, "Well, you know, you're my best friend, too, right?"

Kurt eyes widened and a big smile spread across his face. He would feel the warmth of Blaine's words warm his entire body up, "Really?"

"Well, yeah," Blaine just shrugged, "I mean my friends are great and all, it's not quite the same. Actually it feels wrong to compare you to my friends… it's different with you. Probably cause it's rare that I bond with someone so quickly and only by talking. Believe it or not, I'm actually kinda shy when it comes to finding friends… just not with you…"

Kurt felt the warmth rush through his veins and limbs everywhere in his body quite sure he was blushing. Suddenly he didn't care that all his teeth was showing when he smiled. He was… happy. Not 'I didn't get slushied today' happy, really genuinely happy in every little corner of his soul. He had found a friend that could make him happy, even when everything else in his life was pretty much miserable, who believed that he was more than just some ill boy stuck in a hospital. In that moment all he could think of was to hug Blaine again. Hold him tight and never let go.

"Well, how much time do we have before you have to go?" he asked, hope evident in his voice.

"I can stay as long as you'll have me here," Blaine answered, suddenly curious.

"Well, then come up here! Wanna watch a movie? I'm tired of seeing you in that crap-chair, it must be uncomfortable as hell!"

Blaine just smiled and stood from the chair wincing, "Yeah, they are pretty uncomfortable actually," he said massaging his back.

Kurt made space for Blaine in the bed that just was big enough for the two of them. Blaine sat on top of the blanket so that it he didn't sit too close to Kurt, but the bed was so small that they had to sit pressed up against each other. Not that Kurt complained. At all. He didn't complain either when Blaine swung an arm around him so they could sit more comfortable. He could still smell Blaine's sweet scent that made him crazy. He felt safe in Blaine's arms. Safer than he had felt in a long time… And somehow it was all very natural. He didn't feel like blushing – well, not that much – he could just relax. It was always like that in Blaine's present.

"Comfortable?" Blaine muttered in his ear giving Kurt chills down his back.

"Mmmh," he sighed and rested his head on Blaine's shoulder. He had never noticed that he actually was a bit taller than Blaine. Adorable. He sunk down lower in the bed, so he could rest his head in the crook of Blaine's neck.

"What do we wanna watch?" Blaine asked, motioning for the DVD-player with his free hand.

"Don't know about you, but I feel like Lady and The Tramp. I love that movie! Is it okay?" Kurt asked not waiting for an answer as he inserted the DVD.

Blaine just nodded and laughed a bit as the movie started.

"It's great."

Blaine went home later that afternoon, leaving Kurt warm inside out. And once again he found himself thinking about the same things he had been thinking about for days. What wouldn't Kurt give to get out of that stupid hospital and just follow him? Then they could sit and watch a movie without getting interrupted by nurses, sometimes discretely checking up on Kurt, others way to obvious and loud.

They could go to the park and hang out or maybe be at Dalton for a bit if it was allowed. Something told Kurt that Blaine wouldn't be eager to show Kurt his house, but maybe Kurt could show Blaine his.

Kurt sighed at the thoughts that for some reason never went away. He had sacrificed many things during this cancer thing, and eventually he would stop thinking about it, convincing himself that 'this was his life now' but this wouldn't slip his mind. Maybe because he knew, that if he wasn't sick, he would have wished Blaine to be… more. He knew thinking about Blaine like that was put away in his mind with a sign that said 'FORBIDDEN AREA – DO NOT ENTER' and that opening that box really could have terrible outcomes, but he knew he was being naïve, too. Blaine was… but no. No, he refused to deal with it. Blaine was his friend. The best friend he had had in years. No way, was he screwing this up already.

Kurt heard a knock on his door for the second time this day. He looked up from the worn book he had been staring at, and saw Carole standing in the doorway smiling her familiar, soft, friendly smile.

"Hi, sweetie."

"Oh, hi Carole!" he smiled back still a little dazed of in his own mind and suddenly very tired. How was it that Kurt could forget his tiredness when Blaine was with him?

"I just wanted to check up on you, hon," Carole said, smiling a bit more sadly now, "it seems like forever since you and I talked. How are things?"

Kurt shrugged and smiled a bit, "Actually, Carole, I'm… I'm good. Better than in a long time, anyway."

"Really?"

Carole seemed genuinely excited, "Oh, Kurt I'm so happy to hear that! I… I don't want to pry, but I've seen Blaine come and go much more often than usual…"

"Yeah! Yeah, Blaine's great! Carole I haven't thanked you for… well, introducing him to me, so thanks! You were right, he's really good to… talk to," Kurt smiled at her, feeling more and more tired, as Carole sat in Blaine's chair. His eyelids flickered a bit, but didn't miss the broad smile Carole gave him.

"Of course! I'm happy you to could get to know each other! So… is that why your father also seems to think you're strangely happy these days? Because of Blaine?"

Oh so Kurt's dad had sensed Kurt's mood?

"Yeah, well, I haven't had a friend in a long time now, I guess. It's just nice to have… someone. You know what I mean," he said not wanting her to misunderstand, that she meant a lot to him, too.

Carole just nodded and smiled. There was something in her eyes Kurt couldn't quite place. And right now, he was too tired to care, really.

"Oh, you seem tired," she said noticing how Kurt's eyelids fluttered a bit, "I just came to see how things were. Your father said he would be here soon. I think he will be here when you wake up. He's been… busy these last few days, and he says he's sorry."

Kurt shook his head, still a bit guilty towards his father because of the 'stuck in the hospital' situation.

"No, no – yawn – it's fine, I know he's busy! He doesn't need to come if he has work, I'm actually fine!" and for the first time in a long time, Kurt meant it.

Carole just kissed Kurt's head as she stood and walked off, leaving Kurt to fall in a deep, weirdly peaceful sleep.

…

"What?" Burt Hummel said and furrowed his eyebrows, "so, he's got a friend? A boy?"

Carole nodded eagerly, but quickly sensed his husband's tension.

"Look, sweetheart, I've known Blaine since he was a boy, he's a good kid! I wouldn't have introduced them to one another, if I weren't sure that Blaine was good for hi-"

"Wait, so you introduced them?"

Carole, who had always been good with people, didn't miss the slight anger in Burt's voice.

"Burt, he needed a friend. And well, Blaine did too. They've both been through some serious stuff recently, and they didn't have anyone who could really relate. You remember that friend of mine I talked about, that died a few years ago, and she had a son at the same age as Kurt? That was Blaine," Carole said and placed a soothing hand on Burt's arm. He wasn't all relaxed, though his shoulders were less tense, "so what's the problem?"

"Carole, this Blaine kid, is he gay?"

Carole hesitated, "Yes, he is, that was one of the reasons I thought that Blaine would be good for Kurt. He can understand how it feels to… not be accepted as well…"

Burt sighed and sat down on the love seat in his living room, where he and Carole stood.

Carole approached slowly, still not getting her husbands behavior, and sat on the armrest.

"I don't understand what's so wro-"

"Carole, I know my son," Burt interrupted his face hidden in his hands, "I've never seen him quite as happy in a very long time. I find it hard to believe, that the boy only is a boy to him. I've seen Blaine at the hospital a few times, and he isn't bad looking at all…"

Carole froze. She hadn't even thought about that. Of course… the glimpse of _something _in Kurt's eyes when he had talked about Blaine. The way they were always together. Why hadn't that crossed her mind? She had even said the words: "_And I know it looked like I was trying to be some matchmaker, but I just think you and Blaine could... learn from one another."_

"I…I didn't…" she stuttered.

"I know, Carole, it's… fine, I just… if he falls for someone like this… it could end badly! You said that Blaine had just lost her mother, right?"

Carole just nodded and tried not to think about exactly how bad it could end. No, there was no reason to be pessimistic.

"Well, yes, but Burt, you could be overreacting here, you know. Of course Kurt's overly happy, he's got a friend for the first time, in exactly how long? A friend he can talk to even, who accepts him. There's no reason to just jump to conclusions. So, what's the real problem here?" Carole knew her husband; she knew there was something else.

"Carole… I want Kurt to be happy. I want him to have a life, to have his dream job to… meet the love of his life and settle down and get kids. I want everything for him! You know that right?"

Carole just nodded and took Burt's hand.

"I can't lose him, Carole. I lost Elizabeth to cancer; I can't lose my little boy to it too. And Elizabeth… she was a free spirit. She refused to take any meds, or to go to the hospital, and she died. I can't let Kurt come home from the hospital if that means he'll die too."

"But, honey, Kurt is not Elizabeth," Carole said squeezing Burt's hand soothingly, "he isn't as sick, and he gets the medicine and treatment. Him being at the hospital won't make the cancer go away, you know. He could be here at home, just as safe."

Burt shook his head, "No. No! He's safer at the hospital. He's getting taken care of."

Carole just sighed. She had had this discussion with Burt before, and really, he was right, he was taken better care of there. Burt always had work, like Carole, they really didn't have that much time to take care of Kurt.

"I understand that, but what does this have to do with Blaine?"

"I understand if Kurt wants to get out of that hospital, Carole. Don't you think he'll want that even more now when he's got a friend? I want him to have a life. I would want to meet this Blaine kid, and interrogate him, and scare him to death, until he would get my approval, cause something tells me that if he can make my boy that happy, he's acceptable. But he can't. Not now."

"Burt, you know you're being really pessimistic right now, right? Kurt is not dying! He can survive, this if he wants to, and something tells me that Blaine helps him wanting to. And two gay guys can be friends, you know!"

Burt shrugged and smiled a bit.

"I still think I have to talk to Kurt. And this Blaine guy…"

…

"Hey bud."

Kurt looked up from the sketchbook he had gotten from Blaine.

"Oh, hey dad," he said and smiled. To be honest he hadn't seen his dad in quite a while now, because he always was so busy with earning money for Kurt's stay at the hospital and medicine and all. As much as Kurt hated it, he knew it wasn't really his fault. Besides it _was_ his father who insisted he stayed at the hospital.

"It's gotten pretty late these last few days, I always come at night when you're asleep, I'm sorry…"

"Oh, no dad, it's fine! I'm doing good!" Kurt reassured, sounding weirdly cheerful.

Burt seemed to notice, and frowned a bit as he looked at Kurt, his eyes suspicious. He had sensed Kurt's mood the past few weeks, but Kurt almost seemed happier now.

"I'm… glad, son. Really."

Kurt just smiled unaffected and looked at his dad, rather curiously, "Something up, dad?"

"No I just… wanted to talk to my only son, I guess," Burt said not really knowing how to just jump to the subject, he really wanted to talk about, "so you're sketching again? I thought you said it wasn't really you after all."

Kurt just smiled and shrugged and made a weird gesture with the book as if hugging it.

"Well, to be honest dad, I always wanted to design, I just thought it wasn't an option for me anymore until recently," Kurt said and smiled, "Blaine gave me this actually. He gave it to me with the message 'don't give up on your dreams'." Kurt shook his head and smiled, almost chuckling, before realizing what he had just said.

Okay, so now he couldn't even stop talking about him? Kurt sighed a bit blaming the new medicine his doctors had given him recently. It made Kurt weirdly giddy and afterwards dizzy. It was rather unpleasant actually, but right now Kurt couldn't bring himself to care, he just looked at his father, still half smiling.

Burt looked at him wit narrowed eyes, and looked at him with a look that was either suspicious or curious. Right now, Kurt couldn't really decide which.

"Yeah, it was, eh, actually what I came here to talk about," Burt grunted and sat down on the chair that Kurt still felt belonged to Blaine now.

Kurt just looked a bit confused at his dad.

"Uhm, to give up on my dreams?" he asked.

"No, er, this Blaine-guy," Burt said looking uncomfortable, "Carole told me about this young gentleman who suddenly came and turned your world upside down."

Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Dad I think you're exaggerating a bit here," he lied, "Blaine's just my friend."

The words felt oddly wrong on his tongue, and he almost cringed, though refusing to think about it, still blaming the medicine.

"You seem rather fond of him, though," Burt said not buying Kurt's words. He knew his son too well. He knew what that dreamy, far-away look meant, and though Kurt might not know it yet, Blaine was _not_ just his friend.

"I am, dad!" Kurt said and smiled a half smile, "I don't think I've been able to talk to someone, quite like I can with Blaine. He really is great! A great friend," Kurt added the last part as to emphasize the word 'friend'. He wasn't able to admit to himself that the words didn't feel genuine. He couldn't.

"You know, Kurt," Burt sighed, "I know you like the guy, I can see how happy you suddenly are. But… I'm worried. I don't know, Blaine seems like a good kid, but, Kurt, you… I haven't seen you so… happy about a boy before, I-"

"Dad, would you stop it!" Kurt said and shook his head so that his dad couldn't see him sinking, "I haven't fallen for him. I can't, and I know that. It's just been so long since I had a real friend. Actually I haven't ever had a friend quite like him…"

"Son, I didn't come here to prevent you from falling for someone, I'm here to say, be careful. 'Kay?"

"Okay," Kurt said slowly, not really knowing what Burt meant entirely.

Burt was just about to add something when his cell rang.

"Sorry," he mumbled and took the phone, "oh, hey Carl… yeah, at the hospital… mmh, you sure you can't… okay, okay, I'm on my way okay, tell him to wait… yeah, see ya."

Burt sighed and looked at Kurt, "Look Kurt I'm sorry, I have to go. I'm really sorry, but work's calling."

Kurt nodded understanding. His father seemed genuinely apologetic.

"No, no of course dad! Go, go!" he smiled reassuringly.

"'Kay, bud, see ya, love you!" Burt said and stood from his chair and kissed his son head.

"You too, Dad," Kurt smiled and watched his dad walk out.

But just as Burt reached for the doorknob, it opened and was just inches from hitting him in the head, and there stood Blaine, cute as ever, in dark blue jeans rolled up at the ankle showing his black converse and a light blue button-up, his weekend clothes, which were way too stylish to be called weekend clothes.

"Oh!" he said out of breath as if Burt had shocked him, "Mr. Hummel, I'm so sorry, I didn't see you."

Burt just smiled, scanning Blaine with his eyes discretely. Yep, Blaine was indeed _very_ good looking.

"Well, Hello. And it's fine, you didn't hit me," he said and extended his hand for Blaine to shake, and he immediately took it, "so you're the kid my boy keeps talking about, huh?"

Kurt turned bright red, but Blaine seemed unaffected and laughed politely, "Oh well that I can't tell, but if that kids name is Blaine then, yep, that's me. It's nice to meet you, sir."

Burt narrowed his eyes at the boy in front of him, trying to figure out if he was just charming as a being or if was some kind of fraud, but the boy seemed oddly unaffected and just smiled. Wow, this guy really was something else…

He decided Blaine was good, though and smiled, "You too, Blaine. And none of that 'sir' and 'Mr. Hummel', anyone who can make my boy happy can call me whatever. I would prefer Burt though."

"I appreciate it Burt!" Blaine said and smiled as he let go of his hand. "Oh, and I'm sorry," he added as he moved from the door so that Burt could come through.

"It's fine bud, have fun you two, 'kay," Burt just said and chuckled lightly at the boys politeness, "I really gotta go, but I'll see you, Kurt! Blaine."

Both of the boys made a gesture, Kurt looking a bit mortified and Blaine polite as ever. And just like that, the boys looked at each other, and apparently forgot all about Burt instantly.

"'Keeps talking about', huh?" he heard Blaine ask, his voice so much softer and relaxed than before, though its teasing tone.

And just like that Kurt seemed to forget why he was mortified, and he laughed a laughter that Burt hadn't heard since… well, since he was six, really.

"Oh, shut up!" he said, his voice still so much lighter than usual.

Burt closed the door after him, and looked through the window, but with a feeling of prying on the two boys.

He saw Blaine sit in the chair closest to Kurt without hesitating, as if he had done it a million times before. He had his side to Burt, so he couldn't quite figure out what he said, but something made Kurt laugh uncontrollably as he told it.

Burt just looked at his son, work forgotten, suddenly so happy. He told Blaine something and gestured to the book, his eyes big and grateful, and Burt didn't miss that dreamy glimpse in his eyes at all. Blaine smiled back at him and took his hand, and somehow it looked so natural. He couldn't see Blaine's face, and he didn't really know the boy, but he was human, and any human looking like that, like he was protecting Kurt, couldn't be anything else than madly in love. Though Burt knew, he didn't know it yet.

A nurse passed him and walked inside – Burt hurried to hide from the window, though it wasn't really necessary when the boys didn't even look up – and Blaine just greeted her like Kurt, and kept on telling him something that yet again made Kurt smile. He didn't even let go of Kurt's hand when the nurse came to check on him. He kept quiet politely, could Burt see, probably very used to the procedure – he couldn't make Kurt's heartbeat race up and laughing would do just that – but that didn't stop Kurt for saying something that made Blaine chuckle. Both boys just acted as if it was completely normal.

Burt turned around still with a feeling of prying. He knew his son, and one glimpse on the two boys, and it was very clear that that wasn't just a friendship. Burt knew he should stop Kurt from doing what he did, but he simply couldn't. He hadn't seen Kurt so happy since forever. And something about that happiness reminded Burt of the first time he laid eyes on Elizabeth, and he knew, that if had known that she would die just ten years after they met, he wouldn't have changed a thing. He didn't know how long it would take for them to get their heads out of the gutter, but he knew that he both feared and couldn't wait for that day. Carole was right, both boys needed each other, you could both see and hear that.

He felt his phone ringing once again, and he cursed under his breath as he hurried to the shop, still with a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. He hated feeling like there was nothing he could do. But then again, he knew that sometimes he had to give fate its own way of doing things.

* * *

><p><strong>AN  
><strong>**So I feel preeetty insecure about this story, so please, please, please, if I can do anything to make it better or if there's something you like in particular please, please review! Thanks! :D **


	6. Chapter 6

**Porcelain and Warm Honey**

**A/N **

**Hi lovelies! Thank you for the ****acknowledgments, it really motivates me to post new chapters! Something's up with so apparently I can't answer reviews, but I _really_ appreciate them! Thank you!  
><strong>

**So, enjoy a shorter Blaine POV chapter ;) **

**Sorry for mistakes...**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 6<span>

Blaine had always been good with people. He knew how to be polite and not to show nervousness. But when Burt Hummel stepped into that room, he got weirdly nervous. Sure, you couldn't see or feel it, but inside Blaine panicked when he could feel Burt's eyes watch him like he was judging him. Like he knew about the nights, when Blaine would just lie and think of how to get Kurt out of that hospital. Like he could see just how much he cared for Kurt – much more than he would admit to himself.

Because Blaine had seen the uncertainty in Burt's eyes too. As if he didn't know what Blaine's deal was. Like he was worried for him. But to Blaine it had seemed like he had got his approval when he walked out from the room, with a ghost of a bit satisfied look in his eyes. And that had made Blaine weirdly giddy. Still, there was something about Burt Hummel that made Blaine cringe. Blaine had seen that Burt genuinely cared and loved Kurt with his very being, but Blaine still wanted to understand him completely. He wanted to hear from the man himself, why he couldn't let his boy live while he could. A part of Blaine understood – Kurt had explained him about Elizabeth – but Blaine just… okay, to cut the crap, he wanted to convince Burt that Blaine could take care of him if it was necessary. And apparently he was willing to lose every bit of respect Burt had gotten for him yesterday, as he came up with an idea while sitting in English that Monday morning, at the moment too distracted to listen – something very unusual for Blaine…

He was going to the garage after school and talk to Burt. He would use his GPS or ask people in Lima where to find 'Hummel's Tire and Lube'.

Truth was, Blaine had no idea why he cared so much, but something inside him told him it was natural somehow. It just felt that way. Blaine had always thought, that when people said "I feel like I've known you for a million years" it was just some bad cliché, but now he knew what they meant. Kurt was… special. Every time Blaine saw those cyan-green eyes, every day a new color, something inside him would click. He had got that feeling more and more nowadays. He knew he should be worried, but for some reason he wasn't. Maybe because he hadn't admitted to himself just why he felt like smiling a little too broadly every time Kurt would say something. Everyday he convinced himself that that feeling was normal. And he would keep doing that if that was what he had to do, no matter how much it hurt, because simply couldn't fall for the sick, but beautiful boy. And he hadn't. He wouldn't…

When Blaine, after dodging Wes and David – who he had made up with rather quickly after his outburst – and following the GPS on his phone, arrived at the garage, he suddenly felt the nerves in the pit of his stomach twist uncomfortably. Was this really a good idea? Burt was Kurt's father, could he ban Blaine from Kurt, if he wanted to? Would Kurt even protest, if he knew, what he was up to now?

But he had to do it. He took a deep breath and put on the usual charming smile he used when talking to people he didn't knew that well, and walked inside the little cozy tire shop.

Blaine couldn't stop smiling a bit as he took everything in. Somehow this place managed to give you a feeling of home and comfort, the smell of grease and fuel almost reminded Blaine of the summer, when his dad and him build a car together in their big, way too clean garage, when he was thirteen. Though it wasn't like Blaine's garage, all clean and neat, here everything seemed a bit out of control with cars and all kinds of tools hanging or lying everywhere. There were big shelves and tables filled with different car parts and papers and many other small widgets that Blaine had no idea what was for. Here it was homey and cozy, so much more welcoming than Blaine's house or the hospital for that matter.

Men in grease stained uniforms worked on the cars, none of them really noticing Blaine.

"Excuse me," he said to a blond man, who was looking for something in a tool case and looked up when he heard Blaine, "sorry, I'm looking for Burt Hummel."

The man looked rather uninterested as pointed at a car a few feet away, with a pair of legs sticking out under it. Blaine smiled and thanked him and went to face Burt Hummel, ignoring the butterflies that had gone wild in his stomach.

"Uhm, Mr. Hummel?" Blaine asked hesitantly loud enough for the man under the car to hear.

The man quickly retreated from under the car, rolling on a pink painted board that looked very much homemade. When he stood up Blaine noticed the big violet colored letters that spelled 'DAD'. Blaine suddenly felt like crying as he imagined a little Kurt making that board, so innocent and oblivious of what he had to face later in life.

When Mr. Hummel cleared his throat Blaine came to his senses again.

"Blaine right?" Burt said, and extended his hand after drying it in his grease stained washcloth.

"Uh, yeah, hello Mr. Hummel," Blaine said and smiled charmingly as he took his hand, though he could feel his stomach twist with nerves. He still didn't really know why.

Burt just stood there looking at Blaine inquiring.

Blaine suppressed the urge to gulp, "Uh, I'm sorry for interrupting sir, I just er, came to talk to you actually. If you're busy it can wait, of course…" he added and smiled politely, though inside he was a nerve wreck.

"Is this about Kurt?" Burt asked suspiciously, though not rudely.

"Uh, yeah, it actually is, sir… he doesn't know I'm here though…" Blaine didn't want Mr. Hummel to think that Kurt had made Blaine come to talk to his dad about this.

But Burt just nodded and made a hand gesture for Blaine to follow him into a little office that looked a lot like the rest of the shop. Everything seemed to be messy though in order, and it still gave you a feeling of home, especially the photos on the desk in the middle of the room that he couldn't quite make out from where he stood, though something told him he knew what they showed. Blaine would've looked around and admired this little cozy space if he wasn't such a wreck of nerves right then.

He turned to look at Mr. Hummel, who sat down at a chair behind the desk and indicated for Blaine to do the same.

"Uhm," Blaine didn't know how to start. He suddenly felt extremely stupid. What was he thinking? He couldn't just barge in like this and asking such personal things from a practical stranger... But Mr. Hummel wasn't a stranger. He was Kurt's dad. And suddenly he was speaking.

"Mr. Hummel, I really care about your son. He's the most moral compassionate person I've ever met, and he doesn't deserve any of the things, that life has thrown his way. I just… I don't want to be rude or interfere or anything, I really don't, but Mr. Hummel I'm the kind of person, who takes care of people, especially my friends and…" Blaine took a deep breath and decided to just cut to the chase, "I think that Kurt deserves a life, Mr. Hummel. I'm around him pretty much every day, I see him laugh and walk around in his room, and I see him looking longingly out of the window when he thinks I'm not watching. I know he's healthy enough to get out. He's strong enough."

Blaine stopped rambling and looked at Burt expectantly, eyes a bit wide as if he was begging for him to understand.

Burt didn't really seem to look at Blaine, though. He just looked down on his intertwined hands, which were placed on the table, like he was thinking deeply about something. When he didn't say anything Blaine continued.

"Sir, I… I know about your wife… Kurt has told me everything, I know how you feel about this, and I'm really sorry if I'm overstepping here, but… like I said, Kurt has told me much about Elizabeth, and… sir, she reminds me so much of my own mother, Amanda, who died when I was fifteen. And… unless I've misunderstood everything, I don't think Elizabeth would have wanted this for Kurt, either. I… I'm really sorry, Mr. Hummel, I don't want to come here and teach you about your wife that I've never even met, but I just…"

"You just really care about my son," Burt said. His voice wasn't harsh or angry; he just said it as if stating a fact.

Blaine didn't know what to say, breathless after his rambling, surprised how all of those words came out of his mouth, when his thought was so incoherent.

"Yeah…" he ended up saying, his mouth dry, as he waited for Burt to respond to his speech.

Apparently Burt didn't really seem to know what to say either. Or maybe he was just thinking what Blaine had said through.

Burt hesitated before he said, "Blaine, are you in love with my son?"

Blaine couldn't hold back a small gasp. That wasn't at all what he had been expecting.

"I…" Blaine hesitated, because, really, he didn't know what to say. Right now his mind was a big mess full of incoherent, confusing thoughts. He couldn't really think clearly.

But when he thought of Kurt, a small smile appeared on his face. Over the last months Kurt had pretty much turned his world upside down, but all this time Blaine had denied the inevitable feelings that were creeping up from behind. He simply couldn't fall for Kurt, that was what he had told himself all this time, and right now he couldn't bring himself to think differently. But in front of Burt he suddenly couldn't control himself.

When he answered, he once again surprised himself with the words flooding out of his mouth, "I… I don't know, sir… everyone keep asking me that, but I just… what if I am? I… I hate how everyone seems to think that Kurt can't have anything living, because maybe they'll get hurt, but… what if he's worth it?" he suddenly got really frustrated as he kept talking, ignoring the voice in his head that told him to '_shut up!' _"Has anyone ever thought that maybe he's worth taking the chance for?"

Blaine held his breath as he shut up, realization suddenly flooding in on him like a tidal wave. All those words that he had kept inside himself were suddenly out, and it almost felt like something inside him clicked. He had never allowed himself to think, that what if Kurt wasn't sick, would Blaine then have fallen for him? He knew the answer to that question, without doubt. That thought made Blaine sick to his stomach. Had he really been like everyone else, who said that he couldn't fall for Kurt? Was he so narrow minded too?

The feeling of guilt and not being worthy of sweet, amazing Kurt ran through his veins, and gathered in the pit of his stomach.

He had almost forgotten about Burt who now sat and watched the emotions slide through his face, ending with a face that looked both horrified and a bit embarrassed. Or was it guilt?

The man couldn't stop himself from smiling a bit satisfied look, when he knew that this was the realization he had been waiting for. How the boy hadn't discovered it yet, he didn't know at all, but as he sat there in front of him and he looked overwhelmed with feelings, he knew that he had kept himself from the true for a long time. Burt didn't really know how to feel. Should he be happy, that his boy had finally found someone who obviously cared for him as much as Blaine did? Should he be worried that the so sweet, innocent and so young boy in front of him might get his heart broken again? And would the thought of that exactly make Kurt worried, too?

"I was like everybody else, weren't I?" Blaine then mumbled in a quiet voice that made Burt unsure if he was talking to him or himself, looking down at his hands in his lab, too embarrassed to really look Mr. Hummel in the face.

Burt didn't answer right away. He just looked at the boy. Looked at his quite devastated face, still not knowing quite how to feel or say. But when he didn't answer and Blaine looked up to face Burt, he just knew. The way he looked at Burt, his big, brown eyes so sincere, so genuinely sad and guilty, like he was begging him for forgiveness. No one, not even someone who supposedly dreamed of performing, could act that out. He couldn't stop smiling a just a bit as he reached out and lay his arm on Blaine's stiff shoulder.

"No you didn't, son. You, unlike many others, didn't care about his disease at all when you started getting closer. You managed to make him feel normal. I know that. So no. You did not act like everybody else," Burt said, while squeezing his shoulder reassuringly.

"But, Mr. Hummel, I was too… afraid, too much of a coward to just admit to myself…"

"Yes, Blaine, you were afraid. That's normal. After all you've been through with your mom that's more than normal. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, kid. So stop blaming yourself for it. Now you know," he shrugged, "better late than never, right?" Burt said, not quite like a question, more like a demand.

Blaine nodded and his shoulders relaxed a bit, though not entirely.

"I'm still very sorry. I- I love your son, Mr. Hummel," that's it. He said it out loud. Something inside of him swirled around a bit, and then slowly, like descending butterflies landed in his stomach, making him feel like smiling, suddenly at ease, as a something else ran through his veins this time. Relief.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, son. I do understand it, you know. And I know that. I've known since I saw you two together the other day. You are kinda easy to look through, you know. Kurt has always been an open book about his feelings," Burt said.

Blaine couldn't stop himself from smiling a bit. Kurt was an open book? So that meant that Kurt… He didn't let himself finish that sentence though, too afraid for the answer.

"And now son, " Burt said, interrupting Blaine's thought, "stop calling me Mr. Hummel or sir, okay? It's starting to annoy me. I said you could call me Burt, so you call me Burt. Deal?"

Blaine nodded, "Yes Burt, " he said and smiled a small smile at the man, still a bit uncertain, "I- thank you…"

Burt just nodded and said, "Now Blaine, I want to be honest with you like you were with me, I want to give you an answer on what you said earlier, but thing is I can't really."

It took Blaine a few moments to remember what he really had come for. Oh right!

"I understand your meanings, I just can't get myself to get him out of there. I, like you, am afraid. Afraid that something was to happen to him, and I can't lose him like Elizabeth. Of course I want him to have a life, now more than anything, but kid, you must understand how worried I am. How damn scared I am. He can't go back to that school, I don't feel safe about him being there, now not at all, and when I'm at work he would be home alone, and there anything could happen to him… you have to understand Blaine…"

Blaine nodded and looked at Burt pleadingly, "I do. Like I said before I understand, but s-Burt, I promise, that if Kurt could come out, I would do anything to keep him safe. I would… I would take care of him. Make sure he gets his medicine and get a doctor if anything happens. He could maybe come to Dalton sometimes, I know my father could pull some strings, and there he will be 100% safe, I can promise you that. I would show him all the good and sad things in life, as many prospects as possible, but most of all, I would love him with every fiber of my being, even if he can't reciprocate. I promise that I will get hurt before he does."

He knew that he sounded extremely desperate and pleadingly, and something inside him felt like an unrealistic, cheesy, romantic comedy, but then again, he actually wanted Kurt to feel like he was in one.

Burt just looked at the boy in front of him, uncertain.

"Kid, that's a lot of responsibility. I wouldn't ask you for all of that, you know," he said in an almost muffled voice.

"But, I want to. Like I said I take care of the people that I love. And now that I can say the last part out loud, I want to more than ever. You know you want to, too. I can talk to my dad. He can talk to you, and reassure you that it won't be dangerous at all."

Burt looked as if he was about to say something, but then shut his mouth again. He looked at Blaine so uncertain, and more vulnerable than Blaine had ever thought he would see Burt. He obviously didn't like it, so Blaine stood from his chair.

"You don't have to answer right away, Burt, but please think about it," he said quietly, and headed for the door, leaving Burt that still looked torn. "Thank you so much, Burt. For everything."

Burt just looked up and smiled a small smile at Blaine, and somehow Blaine thought maybe he had convinced him.

In the ride back to Dalton, Blaine had too many feelings to keep a hold on. Had he really convinced Burt? Was it even possible for Kurt to get out from the hospital? And would he do it when he knew his dad was so scared of it?

But most of all, he couldn't stop thinking about his confession to Burt. And the anger he felt for himself. Blaine knew he was good at suppressing feelings. He had created that ability when his mom died. At that time it was a good trick. He would so much rather feel nothing than hurt so much as he did.

Though this time was different. He had known he could suppress his obvious feelings, he could pretend they weren't there – almost – but he had no idea how damn stubborn he could be about not feeling a certain kind of feeling at all… when his mom died he knew that if he let the shield down, if he came out from his hole, there would be nothing but pain. But this time, when he came out from a hole, he was introduced to a whole new feeling. Maybe somewhere he had known. Maybe somewhere inside him, he wasn't such a stupid, naive wreck, but still he was overwhelmed at the unexpectedness of the feeling.

But still, now when the words were out, it seemed more obvious than ever. It all kinda made sense. The tickling in his stomach when he saw him smile. The way he subconsciously smiled a bit too brightly whenever he thought about him. How he almost ran to get his phone whenever he got a message, and how disappointed he would get if it weren't Kurt. The everlasting urge to hold his hand or get closer to him. How he had never felt more comfortable in his life than when Kurt and himself would watch a movie and sit tangled together because of the tiny bed. How he swooned when Kurt would lay his head on his shoulder when he was tired, or maybe just because.  
>And how damn terrified Blaine got, when he felt extra bad one day, or would throw up and look so small, so vulnerable.<p>

He didn't know how oblivious he could be. How stupid he could be. But at that moment, Blaine knew he couldn't suppress that feeling ever again. He knew that when he saw Kurt again, it would be different. He was scared that he might not be able to control himself… and that led to his next problem… he had to tell Kurt. How did Kurt feel? He couldn't even think about Kurt not reciprocating his feelings, but honestly how good was his odds? Blaine was just…Blaine. Kurt was… Kurt was everything. He was sweet, funny, smart and so, so strong. So much stronger than Blaine who had just crept into his little hole of darkness when his mother died, who had just come out of it again… Blaine had never felt that insecure in his life. He knew what he was good at, and he knew what he was bad at. He had always had the exact right amount of confidence. Not enough to be arrogant, though enough to be charming and walk with his head high at the right times. Though now, he felt more insecure than ever.

And even if Kurt did reciprocate, would he let anything happen? Blaine still remembered their conversation so long ago, when Kurt was scared that Blaine would get hurt if anything were to happen to him. At that time Blaine had lied. He had said that he would get over it eventually. But if he confessed his love to Kurt, there was no way he could fool him.

The thought hit him instantly, and drained out all of the little giddiness inside him. Suddenly the tickling in his belly felt uncomfortable. Like someone was scratching instead of caressing him. He couldn't tell Kurt. If he did Kurt would send him away, too unselfish…

Blaine knew, that he wouldn't understand. True, he hadn't thought about just how much it would hurt to lose Kurt, not now, not ever, and he still wasn't going to.

But if Kurt could just understand that some little place inside of him, the place were he still was a naïve, young, hopeless romantic, boy, that place knew, that Kurt really was worth it. He didn't know if it would hurt more or less, if he lost him while knowing what his lips felt against his, but still that place inside him, full of unrealistic hope, told him that everything would be okay, as long as he had felt the honor of having Kurt's heart and trust. His love.

The feeling that he would never get just that… that Kurt would never try to understand it, tore him to pieces.

Now he just had to be Kurt's friend. He could do that. For now.

Blaine didn't know how he had ended up in his room, too much in his own world, but suddenly he found himself lying on his bed in his Dalton dorm room just staring up at the plain white ceiling.

He felt restless. A headache was starting to develop in the back of his head, and all he wanted to do was to stop thinking. Just for a moment.

He stood, shook his head, and subconsciously put on his running shoes and threw on an old The Who hoodie and loose shorts. On the way out he grabbed his cell and headphones. He didn't even acknowledge his surroundings, not the pretty bright sun for March or the semi cold breeze that hit his face and legs as he headed out and started running his usual route in the forest next the school.

It had been ages since he had been out running, too distracted with being at the hospital, and he had almost forgotten how relieving it was sometimes. Sure, it felt like his lungs had been cut open and his muscles ached like hell – way too quick this time, it really had been long – but he found himself forgetting about the world around him, just focusing on his breath control and the beat of the music that motivated him.

_In, in, out. In, in, out.  
>In, in, out. In, in, out.<em>

He ran. Ran longer than ever, forgetting about time and pain…

_In, in, out. In, in, out.  
>In, in, out. In, in, out.<em>

_In, in, out. In, in, out.  
>In, in, out. In, in, out.<em>

After what could have been hours or maybe just minutes he had to stop, though. If it was up to him he would just had kept running and running and running, but in the end he couldn't ignore his body's protests.

He stopped up and bent over, resting his hands on his knees, panting, feeling his heart pounding everywhere in his body and his legs screaming. His T-shirt clung to his chest and back, and he felt his curls break free from its prison of gel and rest on his forehead, sweat running down his temples.

Finally he just fell over on his back, exhaustion rolling over him.

That was when he looked around, realizing he wasn't on his usual path anymore.

_Wow,_ he thought as he looked around,_ I really wasn't thinking this time. _

He didn't recognize his surroundings. Trees and scrubs where everywhere though not any he knew. The little path he always followed was gone.

At first he just stared around, admiring this place's beauty. The trees weren't like he remembered them, all dark brown and tall, these were lighter and smaller, allowing the sun to shine through, illuminating the grass. Flowers of the early spring bloomed, in all the colors you could think of, in the strangely bright sun of the afternoon.

Dazzled he looked around, wondering why it was so bright in this place. And that was when he saw the big bush, more luminous than the others. Or was it behind it? He approached slowly, his heart still pounding, though now only in his chest, and pushed the mess of leaves and scrub aside and… felt his breath hitch in his throat as he stepped into a little clearing with nothing less than a… lake?

It was quite big, with a radius on about ten meters. The water was so blue and reminded him of the water in Florida, though this was much more see-through. The sun reflected the water, silver gold and green colliding in beautiful harmony. Suddenly Blaine understood why it was so bright here. The water made everything shine with an almost magic glow. And that was what this place was. Magic. He instantly felt an urge to jump right in the delicious-looking water, still feeling sweaty and disgusting after his run.

All the trees were further away, giving enough space to sit and enjoy the water on the grass next to it, except for one: A big oak tree nothing like all the other thin and long pine and beech trees everywhere around it. It stood just by the lakeside, its trunk just missing the water, and half of the huge, green crown reflected in the water. He instantly fell in love with it. He couldn't stop himself from feeling this tree was different, no matter how stupid that sounded. And even more clichéd, it reminded him of… well, Kurt. It stood out. It was different just by the water, not away from it like all the other trees like they were afraid of it. No, this one stood there, proud and tall, with it's beautiful crown towering up over all the others…

Yeah, wow, he really had hit the bottom… comparing Kurt to trees now? _Come on_!

Still he couldn't stop smiling as he silently approached the beautiful sight in front of him. He took of his shoes and threw them away carelessly, wanting to feel the soft grass underneath his skin. As if to see if this place really was real…

And it was. It really was. He stopped up and took in the scent of fresh wind and trees and water and just… nature. He listened to the birds that were singing so beautifully. Lightly and cheerful, not screeching-like, like Blaine sometimes thought they sounded. It was like they were telling him stories. Secrets. Maybe about this little magical place he had found. He felt the tickling feeling of grass and sticks and leaves underneath his feet, cooling them down, embracing them with their softness.

He laughed just a bit, maybe because of his own silliness – cause wow he reminded himself of one of those annoying, overly loving nature-persons from Animal Planet – or maybe just out of sheer joy. This was what he needed. He couldn't stop himself from feeling like… like the nature had made this place cross his path. Like it had showed him this place.

Yeah okay, so now he just sounded insane…

He ignored his inner silly thoughts and sat on the ground under the big oak tree, enjoying how big and protecting it seemed with its big crown towering over him.

He knew it was past dinnertime and he would probably get in trouble for not coming back before dark, but he just couldn't bring himself to care.

For some moments he just lay there, staring up at the cloudless sky, just admiring the nature, not thinking about anything else…

He didn't know how long he lay there, but as time went on, he knew he had to go back. He just so didn't want to. Now that he was clearheaded again he kinda got a bit worried, though. He had no idea where he was, for one. And second, he didn't know if he was ever gonna find this place again. This place that he had already fell in love with. He thought about how he would make swing over the water to hang up in the big oak tree. How he some day would try to jump in, to see if it was safe and deep enough. How he one day would bring Kurt…

Determined he decided that he would find this place again. When he slowly, reluctantly went back to the big bush, he made sure to memorize every single little tree, flower, even sticks on the ground. He didn't know how the hell he had managed to just run off the path without noticing it and then suddenly end up here.

He had no idea which way to go. He narrowed his eyes in concentration and looked around, trying to remember where he came from. Trying to remember just some of his surroundings. When he couldn't think of anything he sighed, but quickly had an idea and pulled out his phone from his shorts. The GPS could help him right? If there was any signal that was… for a moment he stared at the time. _Oh, damn,_ he had to be back in less than an hour! The phone showed one little stripe with signal. So that meant he wasn't so far away, right? Still he hadn't Internet so he couldn't use his GPS.

He tried the compass next. He knew that the forest were south Dalton, and the path he ran was close to the school, and that he ran along it, but west or east, he didn't know.

He smiled relieved when the arrow showed him that he forward was north. That meant that all he had to do was go forward. He might have a chance to remember the way, right?

On the way back, he still tried to remember everything. The big crooked-in-a-fun-way tree, the tree that kept a big hornet's nest and the place where it seemed like someone had felled some trees.

He walked and walked, and momentarily cursed himself, beautiful clearing or not. How damn long had he run for God's sake? He knew he could run, but this long? He considered running back home, but he didn't dare it, too afraid that he would get lost again.

But he kept going, checking his phone every now and then. Going and going. Okay, so yeah he was doomed it was Tuesday the next day, which meant way past bedtime now. He just hoped they would understand when he said he had been lost in the woods. That was partly true anyway…

He almost yelled in victory, when he found the path again, and his surroundings got familiar. Running shoes or not, his feet were freaking killing him, and his whole body hated him currently. Yeah, he had gotten enough exercise for this month, thank you very much.

He couldn't stop smiling triumphantly – and exhaustedly – when he found out the school was pretty close from there. Maybe ten minutes walk. He could do it. And he was pretty sure that he just could remember his way back again. _You goddamn rock, Hobbit!_

When Blaine arrived at the school, they actually seemed to be acceptable enough about the whole "got lost in the woods" excuse, though they banned him from the woods in a month. There was no further trouble, though, and they told him to just go to sleep. He obliged instantly. All he did when he came back, more exhausted than ever, was to almost fall asleep in the quickest shower Blaine Anderson had ever taken, and after just putting boxers on, he threw himself in his so warm and comfortable bed and passed out like a light, in the best sleep he had had in years.

* * *

><p><strong>AN  
>Like, no like? Should I continue? <strong>**Let me know!**** :D **


	7. Chapter 7

**Porcelain and Warm Honey**

**A/N  
>Hi again! Sorry if it's been a bit long... now I finally know what people are talking about when they say they don't have time to update, it's crazy hard to get the time! Anyway, I feel quite insecure about this chapter, but eh, hope you enjoy... :)<br>Thank you to all of those who acknowledges this story! As you might know by now, it means everything to me!  
>Very sorry for any mistakes!<br>**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine...**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 7<span>

The next days weren't that eventful for Blaine. He had sent texts to Kurt, excusing himself, unusual for him, but honestly he just didn't think he could look him in the eyes right now. Not yet.

It frustrated him too, that he couldn't go in the woods and find the lake since he had to be careful that no one was watching him. He was still banned from the forest.

He was way too tired and distracted to concentrate at all. And apparently his teachers noticed the straight-A-students silence, cause they plagued him even more that day. Or was it just him?

No matter what the days went extremely slow. And the last thing he wanted that Thursday afternoon was his friends' way too energetic company. Of course, that wasn't his choice to decide.

"What up, Blainers?" Wes' annoying voice said as he, David, Jeff and Nick sat down in front of him in the library where he studied. Or well, attempted to, while trying to stop the buzzing inside his head.

Wes really was the last person he could master right now. After his outburst he and David had acted weird. As if they were waiting for something, and he thought he knew just what – and the thought that they, yet again, was right about him, bugged the hell out of him. That and he had spent very little time around all of his friends including Nick and Jeff, something unusual for Blaine, and they had noticed. Also they all of sudden knew all about Kurt.

"Haven't seen you around much, bro," Jeff said with his usual almost giddy voice as he sat beside his boyfriend Nick.

Blaine just shrugged and looked tiredly up at his four best friends.

"Yeah, I'm just really tired today, guys… got lost in the woods last night, didn't sleep much…" he mumbled. They didn't have to know about the magical place that he had started being afraid actually didn't exist.

"Blaine, that's kinda what we're worried about. Getting lost in the woods? Being weirdly preoccupied in class and at Warblers practice, it isn't like you, man," Nick said with his calm voice as he wrapped an arm around Jeff's chair. Blaine always liked them two as a couple, maybe because they were so different in so many ways, though still fitted together so perfectly.

Blaine sighed and shrugged again, "I don't know, guys. I've just…"

He didn't know how to end that sentence though. He knew very well that they all knew him better than he knew himself. David and Wes had grown up with him, and Jeff and Nick had been his friends since he started at Dalton, a hopeless wreck buried deep inside his own black hole.

"Look Blaine, we know you, okay. We know about this Kurt thing and since you have been so happy these days, we say nothing and try to accept it, but seriously dude, something's up, and I'm about 99% sure it has something to do with him…"

"Honestly Blainers, Davis here is right, do you ever get into that little nut of yours, that we know you better than yourself? We know how you act like a lovesick puppy; do you remember that little boy when we were ten who you always followed around like a little puppy? Except this time it's worse and really…"

"What Wes is _trying_ to say," Nick cut in giving Wes a sharp look, "is that Blaine it's just time that you try to stop denying yourself happiness. I know it's hard 'n' stuff, but really sometimes it's worth it." His gaze was fixed on Jeff as he said it.

"Like Davis and I haven't-…"

"I love him, okay!" Blaine sputtered already feeling the anger gather inside him, probably caused by his tiredness, "_I love him_! _Is that what you wanna hear_?"

He knew he probably shouldn't yell like that, but seriously he was too tired and frustrated for this.

They all just stared at him for some time, Nick and David with understanding eyes, Jeff with a small sad smile, and Wes… ugh, why did he even look at him, again? The annoying, triumphantly smirk that said, "I told you so, Blainers" made Blaine want to punch his face.

Still Blaine decided to ignore him, too tired and frustrated, and hid his face in his hands, "I love him…" _but he will refuse to love me back…_

Nick who sat beside him lay a hand on his arm, "Well, Blaine… you know how this would end, right? No matter what it would be hard…"

But Blaine shook his head and dodged Nick's hand. They didn't understand.

"I don't care about his disease, okay?" he practically yelled again, though calmed himself down again. He was being unreasonable. They just wanted to help, and frankly no matter how irritating it felt, he needed them to talk to.

"I just… he won't…"

"Love you back? Come _on,_ Blainers, you can't possibly be more…"

"Why do you think that, Blaine?" David said and lay a hand on Wes' shoulder, which he quickly shook off, annoyed, "seriously we've seen how you smile when he texts you, we've even seen some of the texts. That boy can't _not _be crazy about you."

"No you… you don't understand," Blaine sighed, still with his face hidden, "he won't... He will refuse to love me. To let me love him…"

When none of them said anything he raised his face to look at them. They all pretty much just stared confused at him.

"He'll be scared that I'll be hurt. He'll think that if I love him I'll be too fragile to cope if anything… happens…"

"Wait, so this Kurt-guy's an oblivious dumbass too?" Wes asked incredulous, "god, and here I walked around and thought that at least one of you had your head out of your ass…"

Blaine gave him a dirty look, but was too tired to argue.

"Seriously Wes, shut up or fuck off!" Jeff said and gave him a disbelieved look.

Wes just rolled his eyes, but shut up.

"Blaine have you talked to him about this?" Jeff asked.

"I don't have to, Jeff, I know him."

"Well, maybe you could try…"

"I can't! What if he asks me to leave?" Blaine asked helplessly. He felt like a twelve-year old girl with a crush on an older boy, but honestly he couldn't bring himself to care at that moment.

"Look, Blaine do you really love the guy?" Nick asked.

"Well… yes…"

"Do you think he's worth fighting for?"

"Yes…"

"Is he worth hurting for?"

Blaine hesitated. Yes… He was. Kurt was worth everything. But he couldn't stop himself from being scared. He was being naïve. A hopeless romantic like always… would it keep him safe this time, or would it bring him back to where he was two years ago? Still, he had made up his mind.

"He is," he said determined.

"Then freaking fight for him, Blainers!" Wes exclaimed and threw his fists in the table, "the Blaine Anderson we know won't give up that easily!"

Blaine couldn't stop smiling, just a twitch in the corner of his mouth, "I thought you guys said that falling for a patient was 'Not a cool move'" he said still with a fraction of a smile on his lips, feeling the hope and excitement inside him twist just enough to remind him that it was still there.

David just shrugged, "Guess we don't really have a say in that after all. You can be stubborn in your own kind of way, you know."

This time Blaine smiled a bit wider in an almost-smile.

"I just, I can't tell him yet. Not now… I'm too… confused."

They all just looked at him with furrowed eyes except Jeff who seemed understanding.

"I… guys, I've never felt like this before. I feel so inexperienced here…" he couldn't really keep his cheeks from getting hot. _Like a virgin_.

"Well, we all did," Jeff said quietly and smiled a small smile, leaning against Nick's arm around his chair, "when I first met Nick here, I was scared shitless." At that Nick laughed and placed his arm around his boyfriends waist and pulled him closer, "I hadn't even really thought about my sexuality, you know, _but_… everything went pretty well if you ask me."

He smiled and rested his head against Nick's. Wes oh so maturely, rolled his eyes and made gagging mimics like he did every time Jeff and Nick got the least bit of affectionate.

Blaine just smiled as always, and of course felt the twitch of longing inside him. He had always seen Jeff and Nicks relationship as an inspiration kind of, and had always hoped to get what they had with someone, one day. Now though that thought made him melancholy inside.

Still he smiled at his friends and nodded slowly. He would fight. He would not take no for an answer. Kurt wanted to experience everything in life? Well, love was a big part of life. And so was fighting. He was going to try. Not now, but at some point he was going to, when he was ready. Soon.

The excitement and nervousness inside him suddenly boiled a bit. At that moment he really loved his friends.

"Please Davis, can I say it now?" Wes asked almost jumping with excitement, as he saw the determination in Blaine's eyes.

David just rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"We _told you so_, Blainers!"

The determined look in Blaine eyes quickly turned into a resigned one as he glared at his friend.

…

**[3.13 PM]**  
>R<strong>egionals rehearsal. Warblers won't let me go :( – sorry… - B<strong>

Kurt looked down at the text from yesterday and sighed. He hadn't heard from him at all that Friday and now the clock on his nightstand read 8.14 PM. They were done by now. And Blaine hadn't written to him at all that day.

He really did understand. Competition had been tonight for god's sake. When he was in the New Directions he would spend the entire week rehearsing. But still… he missed his friend. He missed his charming, warm smile that, no matter how bad Kurt felt, would make him smile back. He missed how he would just randomly come in, sometimes on Friday with special treats – he had soon discovered Kurt's love for cheesecake – or sometimes just with a cup of coffee – when Kurt one day casually said "God I miss Lima Beans Grande non-fat mocha right now!" when they drank the crap coffee at the hospital, Blaine suddenly came with a cup of coffee every now and then.

Then again, no matter how bad Blaine had seen him, Kurt actually didn't want to see him right now. He felt like crap. He was used to it, of course, but this was bad. The doctors had tried this new medicine on him – like always – and this was particularly bad. It made him both extremely nauseous and gave him the worst headache. That and his whole body ached like hell. Like the medicine literally went inside his bones and started dissolving them in there or something.

He had thought about calling a nurse, but honestly he caused them enough trouble with all his medicine and pains, and besides he had been warned. The doctors had clearly said that the medicine might make him sick, but he didn't know that it would be this bad. And, if he called the nurses maybe they would drug him and make him sleep or something, and then he couldn't be up to hear the results from the competition from Blaine like he had promised…If Blaine would write him of course. He would wait and see. He trusted Blaine.

Still waiting would have been easier, if just that crap medicine didn't make him feel so damn horrible!

He tried to lie down, as the pains got worse and his breathing became strained. He felt like throwing up, though nothing came up. It gave him chills down his spine, and made him both extremely hot and cold at the same time. He tried getting under the covers, but everything felt so uncomfortable. He shut his eyes closed and clenched his jaw tight and gasped for air. He tried not to moan in pain. He knew that if he started he couldn't stop again.

His stomach made a strange little jump, for once not uncomfortably, as he heard his phone vibrate on the table next to him, and he knew it only could be Blaine.

He shifted in the bed, trying to reach out for the phone, but instantly regretted it as he felt his heart's pounding and heard the monitor's beeping getting faster. He didn't remember the last time he had felt quite like this.

He gritted his teeth and couldn't hold back a quiet groan in pain and frustration. It felt like someone had grabbed his lungs in tight grasp, tighter and tighter…

_This isn't bad! _He tried to convince himself as he felt his eyes getting wetter, _not as bad as it could be! Just grab the damn pho– …_

…

That Friday all Blaine wanted was to just get home. He knew he couldn't of course. Regionals was that night, and while he knew he should rehearse – I mean he _was_ singing lead – he honestly knew the songs backwards. He could afford to go home and relax before the competition. He had thought about sneaking out to the hospital before regionals. He still did. He was just… nervous…Nervous about seeing Kurt again. He had been avoiding him all week, giving excuses about regionals – which were partly true – and while he knew that Kurt wouldn't doubt them, he still worried. He had only exchanged a couple of messages with the boy which was highly unusual since they most of the time talked at least once a day over the phone. Blaine found himself missing his voice. No matter how tired or raspy he sounded it would always have that angelic, light tone in it.

After class though, he discovered that he really couldn't get away whether it was home or the hospital. When he was about to go still not sure where to exactly, Wes sneaked up behind him and stopped him.

"Ah, ah, no way, Blainers, you have to come to practice today before regionals. It's mandatory!" He exclaimed and grabbed his sleeve, dragging him to the choir room.

Blaine rolled his eyes, "Really Wes," he sighed, "you know I know the songs like the back of my hand."

"Ha. Ha, Blainers, see what you did there. Now, come on! You can tell lover boy that you're head over heels in love with him after we've won. We'll be home at 8'ish."

Blaine just rolled his eyes again and scowled at his best friend.

As Wes had said, they spent the few hours they had before heading to regionals that luckily were held close to the school. And as Blaine had predicted he had rehearsed the songs flawlessly…Even if he was distracted the entire time.

The entire bus-ride to regionals though, Blaine thought about Kurt. He hadn't texted him at all that day. He didn't really know why, actually. He knew that Kurt was excited for Regionals for him, and maybe he had hurt him by not even updating him. The thought that Kurt might feel like Blaine was pulling away scared him, and he knew he should start getting his shit together and just go to him, but still he felt terrified. He wasn't used to feeling like this. He had always been charming and knew exactly how to be in front of people, not showing his real emotions. He knew it wasn't healthy, but after his mom's dead, that was all he could do without breaking down in front of everyone. Something about Kurt though, just took that away, leaving him open to read and so vulnerable. It had been that way ever since they first met. And the strangest thing about that was that when he would have been terrified for feeling that way in front of anyone, it felt normal with Kurt. Comfortable.

"Blaine?" a cocky, charming voice said, kicking him into reality again. He turned his head in his seat and looked right into Sebastian's smirked face.

Blaine resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the good-looking boy. Sebastian was annoyingly cocky. He was the usual tall, fit model-guy with his brown hair and so very green eyes, and even though Blaine had never really talked to him, he had seen that arrogant smirk more than enough times to decide that he wasn't even worth trying to get to know.

"Sebastian?" He said and looked at the boy expectantly, not having the slightest idea what the heck the boy wanted from _him. _

Sebastian just smiled and gestured to the seat beside Blaine that apparently was empty. Wes must have left it without Blaine noticing.

"May I?"

Blaine just shrugged still trying to think of anything Sebastian could want.

Sebastian smiled a bit wider and sat.

"So, I just wanted to really introduce myself, I don't think we've actually ever spoken," he said still with that annoying smirk painted on his face.

Blaine just quirked an eyebrow and took the hand that Sebastian was holding his way.

"O…kay, well I know who you are Sebastian," Blaine said still in inquiring voice.

"Well, you know my name and I know yours, but we don't really know anything else, do we?" he asked and smiled a more friendly smile.

Blaine suddenly felt kind of bad. He really didn't know Sebastian at all. He had just assumed that he was cocky and arrogant, but really who knew, maybe the boy was like him… Hiding his true feelings. All he really knew about Sebastian was that he was a transfer student like Blaine, and that no one really paid him any attention.

So Blaine decided to shrug and smile a bit, though he still wasn't sure what to say.

"Look, Blaine, I think you got a bad first impression of me. I'm Sebastian Smith, transferred to Dalton originally from Michigan, but grew up here and there. That was until my dad remarried and we moved here to Westerville," he said the last words in a bit sour voice, and Blaine wondered if it was because of his stepmother.

"Here and there?" he asked deciding that oh well, maybe he could just be nice and start a conversation. Who knew, maybe Sebastian was an okay guy, who had been treated badly, "That must have been pretty tough."

Sebastian shrugged, "Yeah, I've never really had a close friend, since we moved all the time," he said in a less cheerful voice. When he saw the slight pity in Blaine's eyes though he had to stop the urge to smile.

Blaine was sweet, so naïve, and looked at him with a pair of big hazel eyes, swallowing his words without even hesitating.

"Wow that sucks," Blaine said, his smooth voice filled with empathy.

"Yeah… maybe that'll change now though. I think we plan on staying here," he said and used his spectacular acting skills to look innocent and smile sadly. He knew that wasn't really true, his dad probably planned on leaving that twenty year old soon and he would yet again have to move.

The way the gorgeous boy looked back at him, told him, he had played perfectly as always.

"Yeah," Blaine answered and smiled at the boy politely.

Blaine didn't really know how to feel about Sebastian. The boy actually did seem cool enough, but sometimes he would roam over his body in a bit uncomfortable way, and sometimes he would be a bit too flirty. That probably didn't mean anything, but it still made him a bit uncomfortable. Aside from that, the boy actually seemed nice. He told him about the many things he had experienced in the many places he had lived – he had even lived in Paris one time.

Blaine listened half interested half thinking about Kurt the entire time. He couldn't stop himself from feeling a bit sad, when he heard about Sebastian's incredible life. The boy had _lived_. He had explored the world, and Blaine found himself wanting that for Kurt. He couldn't stop himself from comparing Kurt's life to Sebastian's like that, and it made him a bit melancholy.

As they exited the bus Sebastian sent him a charming smile, a bit friendlier than the annoying smirk he always wore and winked, "See you around, Blaine."

Blaine just smiled and went over to join Nick, Jeff and Thad who apparently hadn't noticed a thing.

When there were only a few more minutes to show time, Blaine felt the well-known tickling in his stomach.

They quickly took places when they were told to, and everyone whispered good lucks except Wes of course who just mumbled, "If you fuck this up Blainers, you're so never gonna get a solo again."

And of course there was Sebastian, who patted his shoulder and smiled as he said, "Break a leg!"

When the curtain went up he felt the twitch in his stomach and the hitch of his breath. As always he closed his eyes for a second and thought of something that calmed him. Usually it was his mothers comforting embrace when he was younger, or when he was sitting somewhere at Dalton surrounded by his friends, and they were playing and singing or just laughing about something.

This time though, it was something else entirely. This time he saw a pair of so bright, cyan blue eyes. So warm and sincere, with those little wrinkles in the corners, that always indicated a smile. He looked into the beauty that was Kurt, and he beaming encouraging at him, his entire face so bright, so beautiful.

The image didn't leave his mind as he stepped forward, and his teammates started singing the harmony, suddenly all nerves gone.

He smiled to himself as he started singing.

_I walked across  
>an empty land<br>I knew the pathway like the back of my hand.  
>I felt the earth<br>beneath my feet  
>Sat by the river and it made me complete. <em>

As he belted out the notes the best way he knew how, he realized he had almost forgotten how performing too was so stress relieving for him. He felt so safe here, feeling like he could do anything. He smiled to himself pouring his soul into every word. And as he sang he couldn't stop thinking about a certain blue-eyed boy the entire time.

_If you have a minute why don't we go  
>talk about it somewhere only we know<br>this could be the end of everything  
>so why don't we go<br>somewhere only we know_

_Somewhere only we know…_

As he sang everything disappeared around him and he saw everything. Saw the lake that he was determined to find again as soon as it was safe. How he would bring Kurt there. How he would hold him. How everything in that moment would be perfect, no matter what reality had to say in that matter.

He closed his eyes almost the entire time he sang, feeling more emotional than ever on stage, but at the same time giving the most truthful, perfect performance he had ever done.

_And if you have a minute why don't we go  
>talk about it somewhere only we know<br>this could be the end of everything  
>so why don't we go<br>so why don't we go_

uh ooh, oh uh

_This could be the end of everything  
>so why don't we go<em>

_Somewhere only we know_

_Somewhere only we know_

_Somewhere only we know _

As he ended the song he kept his eyes closed afraid that they would spill over, but heard the ovation.

When he opened them as the next song began he saw a few drying their eyes.

As he sang 'Raise Your Glass' he yet again thought about the cyan-eyed boy, but at least this time he didn't feel like crying. He almost found his silly feelings annoying. He literally couldn't stop thinking about the boy. He had always thought that was just a cheesy phrase, but as it turned out it – just like all the other stupid clichés in the movies like you can't eat or sleep when you've first been love struck, yeah Blaine had _really_ suffered from that – was very much true.

As the second and last song ended the standing applause overwhelmed Blaine like always. He felt the rush in his whole body, making him smile broadly. There really was nothing Blaine Anderson was more passionate about in this world than performing.

The ride home was extremely loud. Everyone was cheering and sang victory songs, most of them in Blaine's honor. The hazel-eyed teen couldn't stop smiling the entire time, and even though he was a bit sad Kurt wasn't there, he found himself more distracted from the other boy than he had been for five days.

Of course the rush went out of his veins after the boys had put the trophy on it's place in the big glass cabinet, and pretty much everyone went home, after saying properly goodbye, except a little group who planned a victory party – of course Wes was the planner for that event.

Now, though, Blaine just felt like going home. He yet again dodged his friends who tried to convince him to stay, saying he had had plans with his dad. He smiled one last smile and hugged everyone goodbye once again telling them that he couldn't have done it without them – which were more true than most of them would ever understand.

He went outside heading for his car he had left on the parking lot so that he could pick it up after the competition.

He cast one last glance in the forest's way. It looked peaceful and beautiful in the slightly toned March evening. The sun was on its way down, just visible over the trees, casting a beautiful orange glow over the treetops. He smiled to himself. This weekend he would go find the magical place again. He would go to see Kurt, feelings be damned, and he would tell him about it. Tell him how he would bring him there. Maybe even tell him about the talk he had with Burt…

On the drive home he reached for his phone writing a text to Kurt like promised. He so longed after just a text from the beautiful boy.

**[8.17 PM]  
>Hey you! Guess what! We won! :D Sorry I haven't texted you today, was busy… so… still boring as hell in that hospital room of yours? - B<strong>

He sent it and didn't bother to pocket his phone. Kurt always answered instantly even in the evening. Though this time he didn't. The first five minutes passed, then ten, twenty. Maybe Kurt was in an MR-scan or something… But when he came home an hour after he had sent it he became worried. Kurt would have told him that. Right? Or was Blaine being so distant that Kurt felt like he didn't care? Just the thought of that made him sick.

He walked inside his big house, still focused on his phone, still waiting for Kurt to answer. Could something have happened?

When too much time had passed for Blaine's liking, and he yet hadn't received a text from the other boy, he called Carole. Maybe he was being paranoid, the boy probably just slept or something, but then again, Kurt rarely slept in the evening, he slept too much during the day when Blaine wasn't there, and so he always stayed up until at least ten. Besides he had promised Blaine he would wait up and wait for the results, and even though Blaine had told him not to, he knew Kurt would do it anyway.

Blaine walked back and forth in the big living room as he waited for her to pick up, distressed. After the third ring she did.

"Blaine, dear? Why are you calling my cell phone?" a warm, caring voice said, though there was something in his voice. As if she was worried about something.

"Carole, I need to talk to Kurt!" Blaine said, his voice almost shocking him when it sounded so panicking.

"Blaine, honey, it's, er, it's not possible at the moment…" she said hesitatingly and Blaine knew that tone. That tone when she felt extra troubled about something. When she bit her lip and got that guilty look in her eyes. When she was hiding something.

"Carole what happened?"

"He… Blaine dear, don't freak out he'll be fine, I'm sure, he just had a bad reaction to the medicine and…"

"And _what_?"

"He's… he's asleep right now, Blaine… they're not sure when he'll wake, but…"

"I'm on my way!"

And with that he hung up, feeling dizzy and nauseous, ignoring Carole's protests on the other line before it went quiet.

Chills ran up through his spine, moving on down his arms making them tremble so he dropped the phone to the floor. This wasn't happening.

Before he could think he ran back to his car, smacked the door closed and kicked down the speeder, driving way too fast to be safe. He didn't care though. His mind was a mess. This couldn't be happening. Not now. Not when he had finally realized everything! What was it with this world? Was this on purpose? Did the universe just not like him?

He couldn't focus on his driving, crossing red and passed all the cars in his way. The only thing he thought about was to get to Kurt. Why he didn't really know. He surprised himself with freaking out like this. It wasn't at all like calm and steady Blaine Anderson.

He gasped when he was mere centimeters from crashing into another car, and got thrown into the steering wheel – he had ignored the beeping that indicated he didn't wear the seatbelt – as he stopped abruptly in front of the red light. Without thinking he quickly put it on, just so that the beeping would stop. His heartbeat raced in his ear and he could still feel the panic and adrenaline in his veins as he caught his breath. _God, that was close!_

He closed his eyes for a second waiting for the green light. He was so out of it he didn't see anything around him, even when he opened his eyes again and the light turned green. Maybe if he had been in his right mind, he would have seen and heard the car that came from behind in the beginning darkness, so fast no one really saw what happened. Maybe he would have been able to dodge the car then, but when he with big eyes looked in the rearview mirror and saw the blue car coming behind him with full speed, he didn't acknowledge it before it was too late…

And that was when everything went black.

* * *

><p><strong>AN  
>Again I'm very insecure about this chapter, so if you like it (or not, of course) please, please review, it motivates me so much, and to be frank, I'm <em>very <em>not sure if anybody actually likes/reads this story, so... I hate to beg, but... please? It would make my day!  
>Love you all - and, no I did <em>not <em>just say that because of the slight cliffhanger *smiles innocently*. **


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